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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Why were they attracted to us?  (Read 465 times)
gomez_addams
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Almost divorced
Posts: 284


« Reply #30 on: July 18, 2015, 10:41:45 PM »

I don't have the answer, but it's a great question.

My T and I are working through the "how did I get myself into this situation" issue.  So that I don't repeat it.

By repeat I mean in a future romance/relationship, business, friendships, etc... .What is it about me that makes me susceptible to a highly validating person?  Because in the beginning -- when I was on that pedestal -- I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.  And I have reason to believe that I've fallen for it in the past, although the relationships were short lived and didn't end in marriage.

I don't worry/care too much why she was attracted to me, though.  Why was I susceptible to someone with red flags that I missed (ignorantly or willingly)?  Because I do not want to go down this road again.

Gomez
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Beach_Babe
Also known as FriedaB
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 2412



« Reply #31 on: July 19, 2015, 12:11:24 AM »

I think because I fed his ego.
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boatman
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 317



« Reply #32 on: July 19, 2015, 06:32:46 AM »

Excerpt
I find myself ruminating a lot over the fact that I could have been anyone else, it did not matter to him... .and I have the strong impression that my exBPD does not have a clue who I truly am... .This in a Relationship where I had never felt so loved for who I was... .mirroring I know but it's so hard to wrap my head around this.

For all my ex cared my name could have been 463. I was an object filling a role for her, like someone uses a toaster to make toast. She has no emotional connection with her self so she isn't able to have one with anyone else.
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If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
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zundertowz
Formerly thirdeye
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 377


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« Reply #33 on: July 19, 2015, 07:09:18 AM »

From what I know about my exes life before we meet she did have options other than me... .she turned down some people and some people turned her down, although i'm pretty positive she slept with them all.  In my case I guess it was a combination of being available, good enough for her, and I believe I was the opposite of her last few BFs which were the narc types.
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