Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
December 23, 2024, 02:06:16 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Source of BPD?
Pages:
1
[
2
]
All
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Source of BPD? (Read 1108 times)
Tim300
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 557
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #30 on:
July 08, 2015, 12:58:13 PM »
Quote from: FrenchConnection on July 08, 2015, 06:29:35 AM
My ex also told me many other stories that i found out were not completely true about things that happened in her life. So i can not be sure what is true and what is made up. But one thing is sure, something very bad happened to her as a child that came from her parents. She no longer sees or talks to her father (since many, many years).
100% genetic can't be ruled out here.
Logged
chill1986
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 134
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #31 on:
July 08, 2015, 01:02:10 PM »
In some cases, yes it could be genetic, but I don't think that's the case with everyone. I have no idea what my exes mother was like, but from what I gather her sister is exactly like her and she is the nicest person in the world!
Logged
Tim300
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 557
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #32 on:
July 08, 2015, 01:06:09 PM »
Quote from: chill1986 on July 08, 2015, 01:02:10 PM
In some cases, yes it could be genetic, but I don't think that's the case with everyone. I have no idea what my exes mother was like, but from what I gather her sister is exactly like her and she is the nicest person in the world!
Do you know the cause of your ex's mother's death?
Logged
chill1986
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 134
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #33 on:
July 08, 2015, 01:15:01 PM »
Cancer, I think.
Logged
Tim300
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 557
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #34 on:
July 08, 2015, 01:30:03 PM »
Quote from: chill1986 on July 08, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Cancer, I think.
I wonder if her cause of death was something more dramatic. Who knows.
More generally, another thing I wonder, assuming BPD is 100% genetic (which I believe it is) is the extent to which BPD skips generations and how it's in some offspring but not all. I suppose it could be like anything else (e.g., hair color, eye color, etc.). A confounding variable in this is that in some cases the true biological father might not be known.
Logged
Skip
Site Director
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 7051
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #35 on:
July 08, 2015, 01:39:23 PM »
10 years ago when no one had any scientific data, it was common to have nature vs nuture discussions in support communities. We are past that now. Studies have show that roughly half of the people developing the disorder did not grow up in an environment so traumatic as to induce the disorder.
So what does this really mean the medical community?
A lot. It helps direct future research. There is movement toward labeling trauma induced BPD as complex-PTSD.
What does this mean for a mother of a BPD child?
A lot. It means they didn't necessarily destroy their child. Before these studies, all parents we suspect in the eyes of clinicians and social service providers.
What does it mean to Leaving romantic partners?
Probably very little. We can't tell which bucket a specific person was born into. Our partner could have trauma and genetic predisposition. Or just trauma. Or just genetic predisposition.
The majority of our ex's have only traits or disorders with some BPD symptoms (ADHD, OCD, BiPolor, Addiction, ACOA, etc.).
Maybe the most important thing to know is that these are all developments from childhood that are real. Many of our partners receive stimuli differently or more intensely , more hyperfocused than we do - we loved that about them when it was going our way - and have developed a different way to cope with life stresses. They are not crazy or insane - they are different - challenged.
And while I read here often (on Leaving) that we can't help them and it takes many years of treatment - this may fit our narrative more than it fits theirs. Its not length of treatment, its commitment to it and progress. Someone young people or with people traits will often see more progress earlier - so its motivating. Someone who has hit bottom is going to be more motivated. Someone in a supportive environment will do better than someone isolated or in a hostile environment. Granted, its not a two month recovery for anyone - but we have seen partners/children here make significant progress in 6 - 12 weeks. Not cured, but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel... .
Logged
chill1986
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 134
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #36 on:
July 08, 2015, 01:46:42 PM »
Thanks very much Skip for clearing that up!
When it comes to problems I often research heavily, finding their causes and fixing them (although I admit that probably won't happen in this case). I'm not perfect either so perhaps should focus on my own!
My job is problem solving so it crossed over into personal.
Logged
enlighten me
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #37 on:
July 08, 2015, 02:09:05 PM »
Quote from: chill1986 on July 08, 2015, 01:46:42 PM
Thanks very much Skip for clearing that up!
When it comes to problems I often research heavily, finding their causes and fixing them (although I admit that probably won't happen in this case). I'm not perfect either so perhaps should focus on my own!
My job is problem solving so it crossed over into personal.
Theres a thread here about jobs we do. A lot of us are engineers or military or in the medical profession. Fixers, carers and protectors.
Logged
chill1986
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 134
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #38 on:
July 08, 2015, 02:24:37 PM »
Is that a type for a BPD?
Mechanical design engineer, I design military equipment. Considering going back to uni to do a medical degree.
My BPD also had exes before me that were military and police.
I'll look for the thread.
Thanks!
Logged
enlighten me
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #39 on:
July 08, 2015, 02:33:30 PM »
More to do with the type pwBPD are attracted to and what types try to help pwBPD. A bit of an introspective look at ourselves and why we do things.
Logged
rotiroti
formerly neveragainthanks
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 758
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #40 on:
July 08, 2015, 02:40:17 PM »
Quote from: enlighten me on July 08, 2015, 02:09:05 PM
Quote from: chill1986 on July 08, 2015, 01:46:42 PM
Thanks very much Skip for clearing that up!
When it comes to problems I often research heavily, finding their causes and fixing them (although I admit that probably won't happen in this case). I'm not perfect either so perhaps should focus on my own!
My job is problem solving so it crossed over into personal.
Theres a thread here about jobs we do. A lot of us are engineers or military or in the medical profession. Fixers, carers and protectors.
Was it on leaving?
That's an interesting find, I'm in the medical field and always had a 'fixer' mentality... this r/s definitely has me looking into my co-dependency issues
My uBPDex's father supposedly is also BPD, but at his advanced age 'grew' out of it. He was her caregiver and persecutor during childhood, was physically abusive
Logged
chill1986
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 134
Re: Source of BPD?
«
Reply #41 on:
July 08, 2015, 02:43:32 PM »
Makes sense re our professions. Just wished I had realised all this sooner!
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages:
1
[
2
]
All
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Source of BPD?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...