Should have expected it

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So, six weeks of not seeing her.  She stays away from our home when I have the kids, and vice versa.

Recent days, some flurries of texts- ranging from asking to talk to me to sort things out, wishing me happiness for the future, being abusive and hostile... .but the ones I am most unimpressed with- threats regarding my access to the kids, saying that I'm neglecting them, and threatening that she will do what she needs to do to protect our children.

I did text asking her to please stop sending abusive and threatening texts-to no avail.  My gut feeling is to ignore them.  From experience, dealing with them via the lawyers has no impact.

It's been months since she made threats regarding our kids and my access to them.  She used to threaten that I'd see them every other weekend, and that I was mentally unstable and couldn't look after them, and even reporting to the Police that I would kill myself and my kids.  Since then she agreed to shared care, although there are no court order for this.  These texts have taken me by surprise. 

Any suggestions?

Our house is close to being sold... .probably leading to some dysregulation?  Certainly she wants a reaction. 

[SES]

So, six weeks of not seeing her.  She stays away from our home when I have the kids, and vice versa.

Recent days, some flurries of texts- ranging from asking to talk to me to sort things out, wishing me happiness for the future, being abusive and hostile... .but the ones I am most unimpressed with- threats regarding my access to the kids, saying that I'm neglecting them, and threatening that she will do what she needs to do to protect our children.

I did text asking her to please stop sending abusive and threatening texts-to no avail.  My gut feeling is to ignore them.  From experience, dealing with them via the lawyers has no impact.

It's been months since she made threats regarding our kids and my access to them.  She used to threaten that I'd see them every other weekend, and that I was mentally unstable and couldn't look after them, and even reporting to the Police that I would kill myself and my kids.  Since then she agreed to shared care, although there are no court order for this.  These texts have taken me by surprise. 

Any suggestions?

Our house is close to being sold... .probably leading to some dysregulation?  Certainly she wants a reaction. 

[Waddams]

Document/save copies of the texts, otherwise let her squirm.  Doesn't sound like anything that a response will produce a beneficial result.

At most, if you have lawyers, GAL's, parenting coordinators involved, give them copies of the texts.  Just a quick "hey i'm receiving these texts from her.  I'm fine and not otherwise engaging/responding to them.  Let me know if you have any questions."

And then go enjoy yourself on your time and enjoy your kids when they're with you.

[SES]

Thanks.  Your ideas were duly noted.

She somewhat escalated the texts to threats to stop the house sale, and make me live with her for longer... .Something she says she will enjoy.

I have checked in to a hotel for the night.  I have a beer in hand.  Tomorrow is another day. 

I let my lawyer know, and she asked for copies of the texts.  She plans to phone my wife's lawyer tomorrow to see if her lawyer makes of it; as she risks sabotaging all.

[livednlearned]

Well, when you do sell the house please be sure to let us know. We will need to raise a toast on your behalf!

[ugghh]

Sounds like the classic signs of an extinction burst.  You need to be very careful if you are in her presence at all.  Please make sure you have a digital recorder running at all times for you own protection. 

During the course of my divorce I experienced a similar stream of emails /texts - went from like 3-4 / day to like 40 in one day.  I don't recall what the trigger was, but I do know I had a sheriff knocking on my door with false restraining order like a week later.  Luckily my 16 year old son was with me and willing to testify that I had not even exited the car or set foot in the house.