Moving Out

[jhkbuzz]

I am about 1 year post b/u - she moved out of the home we shared last August. I put the house on the market last month and it (fortunately) sold very quickly. Packing has been a difficult but cathartic process. I am happy to be moving out because this house holds too many memories, but it has been emotionally draining at times to dismantle, piece by piece, the home we built together.

I am wondering if anyone can share their experiences with this process; how you (emotionally) handled "packing up", and how your life changed/improved, etc. once you moved out.

Thanks!

[Lucky Jim]

Hey jhkbuzz, I moved to a new office last month and had to pack up or discard a lot of stuff in my old office, which included many personal items that reminded me of my BPDxW.  As you describe, it was draining but felt good to jettison "stuff" from my old life.  My BPDxW and I divorced two years ago, so I'm a little further down the road than you, but it was still difficult to look over old photos, mementos, etc., from our life together.  It triggered a lot of painful memories, too, which I'm happy to have in the rear view mirror as I get back on my Path.

LuckyJim

[blissful_camper]

I moved out-of-state to have an r/s with my ex.  Although we didn't live together (I rented my own space) the process of packing and moving out of my home was physically and emotionally draining. 

I had moved and packed my homes before, but this packing felt different than previous ones.  As I packed (books, kitchen, couch cushions, pillows, blankets, art, nic-nacs) I felt I was dismantling a set.  The realization at that time was disheartening.  What came into focus as I packed was a stage where a script had played out.  It was painful. 

What got me through it was the deeper knowing that by exiting the r/s (the script) I was no longer contributing to an unhealthy dynamic.  I was making a healthy choice for us both.  I'd known my ex for many years.  We had a friendship and a history before our romantic r/s began.  I cared about his well-being.  I loved him very much.  I loved him enough to know that leaving was a loving action.  I had become a trigger.  Being with me meant that he was experiencing discomfort and pain.  I didn't want to be the face of his discomfort and pain anymore.

I'm 2 years post-b/u.  It has been a long road.  Painful, illuminating, healing.  Wow!  My life has changed dramatically.  How has it changed?  Recovering meant turning inward to examine and heal, as much as I can, my own core wounds.  I'm satisfied with the progress I've made, and I'm proud of myself.  The journey pointed me toward activities that I continue to explore reinforcing my own sense of wellness.  I accept the positivity those activities offer and I reciprocate with enthusiasm.  I'm happy.  I feel that I'm a happier and healthier person than I was prior to the r/s.  I attracted what I needed at that moment in time (the r/s).  Without the r/s I may not have journeyed to the place where I am now.