My pwBPD is moving?

[ElroySpace]

After the worst fight ever in our 2 year relationship on the 22nd she moved out for the 4th time. It's always been her in the past causing the fights and me just taking it and trying to diffuse her... .But this time is was all me... .I snapped! She moved into her cousins who are moving to Florida when their lease is up at the end of this month. Well! She added some guy on fb from FL  I suspect she made a Tinder & put her location to FL. She is totally due for her 2nd (recycle?) with another guy I suppose huh... .once a year do they?  ... .Is that what they call it?  We have been together almost two years. Her last LTR was 3 years in her home state of Alaska but her exBF was always  abusive to her because of her rage/BPD... .She moved here where we are now and never looked back but invited him to move here to be with her if he truly loved her a long time ago before she ever had met me. He never did... .  Now I can foresee her doing this exact same thing to me!      Man... .You guys are going to love this if I go on down to Florida to prove my love to her in the coming months. Good news is my career is based off my laptop & i'm self employed. And I love the weather being from Vegas... .If she gets her own apartment down there id stay for a few months at a time & entice her into coming back probably. But with distance and time comes the huge risk of her finding a new LTR. Guess i'll think positive on the account it's hard to replace me... .6 foot 7... .six figure a year income, getting back into shape, self-employed. The list goes on... .We enjoy ALL the same things too. She's in debt right now but makes $50+ an hour as a cam model online so maybe she will just be over there getting back on her feet but wow if she moves in with some dude and has a fling in the process... .boy oh boy do I hate BPD.

[once removed]

hey elroyspace,

does this relationship and/or this person bring you happiness? does it enrich your life?

[ElroySpace]

hey elroyspace,

does this relationship and/or this person bring you happiness? does it enrich your life?

Absolutely! We would do everything together. I was addicted to dating here because of the abundance of moving from a small city to one of the biggest cities. She's the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I'm dating right now while she's unclear of what's going to happen next but nobody can compare to her. We enjoy all the same things and think the same when it comes to almost everything... We finish each others sentences... We are on the same wave length if you will. And the sex is the best ever and can't be matched. I truly believe she is my other half. While this is going on I am focusing almost all of my effort into fixing myself and bettering myself. Not finding someone else. I have to say this breakup was my fault and due to my insecurities being too paranoid about her just chatting with other guys on her phone. She doesn't have a lot of friends and having an outlet of sometimes the opposite sex should of been ok with me. This is giving me a push to get where I want to be physically and mentally. I was not stable because of her daily BPD outbursts but I couldn't make any attempts to ease it because I was a wreck myself. When the outside factors stressed her out she got worse and in return I got worse. Next time around I will stick her right in with a good BPD specialist. I am already getting professional help myself. Twice more by the end of this month.

[once removed]

have you read through the lessons on this board and the staying board? its great that youre accepting fault and better yourself, really. i am worried that youre putting your eggs in some misguided baskets, and that doing so may hurt you down the road. ill be glad to elaborate further, but i want to reiterate asking if youve had a chance to read through the lessons.

[ElroySpace]

Have read countless hours of content online including here. It's so much to have it all stick in my mind. If I focus on myself more than her i'm doing something ok :'(

[once removed]

youre absolutely right. im sure youre doing a whole lot ok elroyspace 

im glad youve been reading. this is a very complex disorder. many of the lessons revolve around realistic expectations. im concerned about the prospect of uprooting your life and moving in order to prove your love to her. first of all, you should not have to prove your love. second, it may not go as expected. you may find yourself fairly isolated, too. it sounds like youre playing a lot of this out in your head while waiting for her, which is understandable, but i dont think its going to be that simple. if she is seeing someone as you suspect, theres no guarantee how that will play out. your good looks and salary may be no match for mental illness; in other words, you could be king of the world, and still be treated otherwise, and devastated. it is also not likely to go well if you become involved in getting her to a BPD specialist. generally shes got to know theres a problem, seek help on her own, and then commit to it, which is no easy accomplishment, and can take quite a while, with some huge ups and downs in the meantime.

i do understand how you feel about this person. i thought my ex was also the most beautiful girl id seen, and i too thought she was my soul mate. its understandable that no one seems to compare to her. its possible that dating right now will only reinforce that notion. you are certainly doing the right thing by focusing on, and improving yourself. do it for you