Meanest thing your ex said to you? - part 2

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I just had to add one more.  My uBPDexh had plans to go the race track for the day.  After being there for a short time, he started acting childish - drinking to excess, making insensitive comments and checking his cell phone frequently.  He had me so stressed out that my MS symptoms started to flare and that angered him even more.  He shouted "I don't want to be stuck with a sick person my whole life".  My illness is not visible and had caused him minimal inconvenience since I was diagnosed in 2005.  His selfishness and insensitivity is enormous. 

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[tori3297]

I just had to add one more.  My uBPDexh had plans to go the race track for the day.  After being there for a short time, he started acting childish - drinking to excess, making insensitive comments and checking his cell phone frequently.  He had me so stressed out that my MS symptoms started to flare and that angered him even more.  He shouted "I don't want to be stuck with a sick person my whole life".  My illness is not visible and had caused him minimal inconvenience since I was diagnosed in 2005.  His selfishness and insensitivity is enormous. 

Split from: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=112758.0

[O'Maria]

There are no apologies from people with emotional illness especially after the honeymoon stage when the affection is gone. If I ever got an apology after being told to "Shut Up" and "FU forever" many times a day, it was a short "sorry but you made me loose my mind, you should be more considering". So it was my fault that I got abused.

Another bad thing he said was when he held a kitchen knife close to his wrist saying "I will show you I can kill myself and its your fault, I wish I had died many years ago".

I don't understand how a disease can do this to a person. I was such a waste of time to try to help him.

I am still mad at myself for tolerating so much bad behavior. 

[11yrs2long]

Yes!

This has been a really great thread for venting... .

I forgot one more.

"Your Father (who is a truly great man) must have really been a piece of ___, if he raised a son like you"

She was the ultimate "'Physcohit_", that's my pet name for her.

[O'Maria]

He was the most prominent Psycho personality I have experienced. Nothing was ordinary. I was not prepared for this when I started dating him. I knew he was different but I just couldnt understand why he always reacted so strongly about everything with daily mood swings. I tried to keep my mouth shut but he went on with his temper tantrums, I tried to get away from him but he chased me. Then he once said I had asked him to show his emotions - and he thought it meant acting out. And when I said I don't get anything out of this he said: "You either love me or hate me".

One of the worst thing he ever said was: "You are the best thing that ever happened to me". Why? Because it trapped me.

Well, he is now miles away and the house is quiet. Let this be the last Psycho man in my life.

[rosebud]

"Your Father (who is a truly great man) must have really been a piece of ___, if he raised a son like you"

Wow, same thing said to me ... .verbatim.  Exactly.  My deceased father, sweetest man, fireman, marine, my buddy, passed in 1976.  ExBPD never knew him but knew everyone loved him.  My Dad was a "piece of sht" because he "raised me".  A lot of things read here I haven't commented on, but I actually heard them too.

There really seems to be script happening here.

I know this thread is painful, but it's turned a page for me, really therapeutic...   So many phrases, name calling identical, word for word, personal put-downs (very personal), throwing personal things told in confidence back in your face, inventing (projecting) other things, where you go... ."huh?"  Telling other people these bizarre things about you.  In some weird way this is helping me not to take things so personal anymore... even though I knew better.

[ron7127]

Two emasculating remarks stand out.

First, we had a disagreement and I told her that I had asked advice about the situation from a friend. This enraged her and she told me' You have to talk to everyone. You are just like a woman.'

Secpnd, we were simply playing scrabble  and, I thought, having a good time. She spelled out p-nis and acted as if she had to use the word in a sentence to prove it was not a bluff word(yeah, right). She chose "Pe-is, my husband has no pe-is." I was floored and asked her why she said that. No explantion. Next day she told me she had advised her friend of what she had said and was told that i was too sensitive.

I also appreciated the regular cold water dousings while i showered or when I was dressed to go out.

Or, her constantly inquiring if I had doubts that my sons from a previous marriage were really mine, biologically. Funny, she had multiple affairs on me, herself.

[lurchlookalike]

Ron, you have some brass ones for sharing that amigo. I appreciate it and could see my spouse saying the same or similar things. She doesn't want me to share anything about our disagreements even though I cannot talk to her about them at all, and many emasculating remarks. Yes, I've received the unscheduled showers too and many swine references to my persona.

The real truth is though, I need more of a woman. More femininity, love, kindness, sensitivity and romance.

[ron7127]

Cantelpoez. that remark about my dick was the end of our sex life( although, after marriage, that had pretty much dried up with constant rebuffing and her insistence that our daughters sleep in ur bed every single night.).I played a lot of sports growing up and am anything but feminine. I am average in the endowmnet dept.

Been in a lot of locker rooms.

But, I lost all my confidence for having intimacy after that one.

It was , really, a cumulative thing. Dousing me in front of my kids. Recruiting my young daughters to throw open the shower and douse me, as well. Silent treatments. Calling me a piece of hit_, No balls, bouncing checks, cheating. It was a nightmare from which I am still reeling.

[jalk]

Everything she has ever said to me... .is the worse thing. She's a liar and a fake. Sorry I ever met her.

[lurchlookalike]

Ron, you definitely have the cojones amigo. And, you got out of it too.

Muchas Gracias for sharing, everyone.

lurchlookalike

[gary1958]

No one has ever made me feel the way you do !   

[PotentiallyKevin]

No one has ever made me feel the way you do !   

then she says the same thing to the next guy, then the next, then the next, etc etc etc. You would think that it would get old... .

[Backtome09]

"You're not welcome in this apartment... ." after I had physically moved all his stuff there (by myself) and half my stuff there too... and no longer had another place to live. We broke up after this for a few months. We had been living together at that point for about 6 years.

"How do you think HE felt about it?" He was using what I had told him about cheating in a previous relationship against me. Classic BPD. He was spitting at me he was so mad. The cheating in the previous relationship was teenage "you cheat on me, I will cheat on you" kind of stuff.

"I would have NEVER gotten into a relationship with you if I had known... ." something that I had told him early on. Truthfulness does not help you with them. They always throw it back in your face. These last two comments were right before we broke up & he was making me look like the evil one.

One last thing that I won't repeat on here during sex that plainly shows he was "somewhere else" & not focusing on the moment. Zombie.

Bleh.

Oh yeah, forgot, thanks for reminding me--"I should have done this a long time ago. Do it to ME! I will do it to you." While he was flashing a knife between the two of us. Yeah, and he was a "well-adjusted young man". Later told me he thought of suicide many times before he even met me. Great. Love how it comes out years later.

[C12P21]

I also appreciated the regular cold water dousings while i showered or when I was dressed to go out.

Wow, that brought back memories... .my ex husband used to do that during our first year of marriage, I had completely forgotten. I absolutely hated it.

The worst thing he ever said, there were far to many to remember. I used to argue back and said some vile things as well. I stopped and he continued for many years.

The worst... ."I ignored our children because I knew three of them weren't mine".

Right. Sadly, he did ignore them.

C

[letmego]

hmmm so many to choose from

I hope you die, 

Im f**king someone else tonight ill send you the pics.

I detached myself from you months ago. I dont know what I feel about you. I think its just sex. I dont love you really its just words.(then five minutes later he would be declaring undying love and wondering why i didnt beleive him!)

I gave you my best , you just ruined it, tonight never happened. You took away everything I felt for you.  (this was after a lovely evening that he decided to ruin with the usual row less than 24 hours later)

Your a useless, worthless cold person and I hate you

Your a f**king c**t Im going where im wanted tonight.

I cant stand you anymore , You disgust me.

You are sick, you need help... .     (that one made me laugh as he was in full rage at the time and only one of us was sick)

There is something seriously wrong with you, you need to see someone

Keep out of my private life it only causes problems when you interfere!  (this was after questioning suspicious behaviour)

God I hate you so much right now.  You are incompetent and useless and will never have a relationship

You failed yet again to understand and communicate.

They seem to love the word "fail"  they throw it about all the time.  Designed to make us feel really crap. And constantly he would make out I had a problem, would text me non stop, I wouldnt respond then he would say Stop texting me you f**king stalker!  It was like he was constantly trying to break me, then reel me back in just to break me again.  Oh and his phone was always switched off whenever I was around.  hmmm I wonder why... .Also just about every row would involve him saying he was changing his number.  he acually did change it several times.  Great I thought free at last.  Two days later he would get back in touch on his new number.  Only to be mr nice then mr nasty again and then say "I knew i should never have got back with you"  ... .Helloo, you bloody chased me to get back with you.

[whyme87]

Ahh she phoned the police and said i was harrasing her.

I kept calling/texting as i'd not heard from her that day at all and I was worried.She claimed it was harrasment... .the next day I call to try and talk calmy... she says "i kissed ryan last night it's nothing to f'in do with you" hangs up.

Ring back "leave me.i killed your f'in child"

she then changed her number

[GodofNietzsche]

Ahh she phoned the police and said i was harrasing her.

I kept calling/texting as i'd not heard from her that day at all and I was worried.She claimed it was harrasment... .the next day I call to try and talk calmy... she says "i kissed ryan last night it's nothing to f'in do with you" hangs up.

Ring back "leave me.i killed your f'in child"

she then changed her number

I know we see a lot of crazy stuff on this board... .but that is really #ucked up.

[GodofNietzsche]

Ahh she phoned the police and said i was harrasing her.

I kept calling/texting as i'd not heard from her that day at all and I was worried.She claimed it was harrasment... .the next day I call to try and talk calmy... she says "i kissed ryan last night it's nothing to f'in do with you" hangs up.

Ring back "leave me.i killed your f'in child"

she then changed her number

I know we see a lot of crazy stuff on this board... .but that is really #ucked up.

[Untouched]

Too many to count over the many years I put up with it.  These are the ones that hurt the most.

1.  In front of his parents, he blamed me for his dad having cancer.

2.  3 months after my brother had passed, I called him and was upset.  Part of me was still in disbelief he was gone.  I guess he was tired of hearing about my pain and said, ":)uh, what the f do you think would happen, Untouched, if i put a rope around my neck?"

3.   No one will have you with the baggage you have (meaning my 2 older kids from previous marriage)

4.   Calling my 2 older kids b@stards

[muddychicken]

"I had sex last night with a 24 year old I met at a party... .it was easier than I thought it would be" Oh wait... .wrong thread, I thought this was "What is the best thing your BPD has ever said to you!"

[TonyC]

how much dont you remember... but some flashes up out of nowhere?

[vanilla_essence]

C$$t, hit_, tw@t, f$$k head, psycho, frustrated hetro hit_, fatty, lardy arse, cheat, liar, pig, fridgit... .to name just a few, anything she could think of. The worst was the insult to my then 3 year old daughter "f$$king little c$$t"

[VB]

C$$t, hit_, tw@t, f$$k head, psycho, frustrated hetro hit_, fatty, lardy arse, cheat, liar, pig, fridgit... .to name just a few, anything she could think of. The worst was the insult to my then 3 year old daughter "f$$king little c$$t"

Oh yeah, the C$$t word comes into it quite a lot. Must be their weapon of choice! 

[turtlesoup]

Yeah why do they blame you for things that are nowhere close to being your fault and even happened before you even met

My exBPD blamed her mothers death on me and if i "couldn't see I had a hand in it then I was blind". The unfortunate woman in question having contracted cancer even before I met my exBPD, she would blame me for crazy things, even things she had clearly made up.

That is something I simply can not understand, its nowhere close to any truth whatsoever, not even in any way, why do they do that?

[shallowval33]

*I'm glad to finally get the monkey off my back (me apparently).

*SHE understands me.

*You're the Grandmother of a *expletive*(too mortified to repeat)

... .but you know, IIIIIIIII love 'em. WTH?

[anker]

The only time he called me a ___ I started laughing. I find the word funny

He was furious after that.

"you're too loud. Obnoxious. Clingy. Sexually irtatious with your friends"

Oh yeah... ."you don't have friends you have acquaintances" (projection much?)

"why are you so pushy and manly with your friends"

Basiclly anytime I felt confident and happy there was something wrong with me.

[FinPublic]

He repeatedly went after my 2 grown kids. He called my son gay, which for reasons too numerous to go into, made me laugh. Out loud. My stbx hated my laughing at him. I suspect he's probably has a bit of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well. His diagnosis was Personality Disorder NOS.

Technically, my stbx didn't SAY this, he posted it on Facebook. He wrote that he was sexually attracted to my daughter and my sister. Those really got to me.

He told me he wished my dog was dead. Again it got to me.

He called me a ___rag, which I thought & still think is idiotic, so it didn't get in.

Remembering this has all of a sudden gotten way too depressing.  

Think I'll go see if Apollo Ohno is skating. Get myself cheered up again.

[harmony1]

Hi

[FinPublic]

I've been thinking more about this. And you know the very worst thing he ever said? That he loved me because I believed him and because I really needed to be loved. 

[zero0zero0zero0]

Hi

LOL! Isn't THAT the truth!