Hey whiteback, What would you like to see happen? Do you want to go back in the ring for another round? I can't tell from your Post. You could say that you are in sort of the victim mode, because you've left it up to her to decide on the next move. Instead of waiting for her to do something, how about deciding for yourself what is right for you?
LuckyJim
Good, honest feedback. I really was just venting, and it wouldn't let me edit later so I left it.
The insecure part of me is waiting. The conscious part of me is continuing to live my life. I needed the ball to be in her court because I was having a lot of anxiety over whether things were going to truly end over a miscommunication. I needed to get in a place where I could know I had been direct, and that I had done what I felt comfortable doing. In the past, I would have chased and been desperate. I learned from that, and now feel I deserve someone who doesn't need convincing. What is right for me right now is to be open to further communication, but to not stop everything until I hear from her.
I'm just also being aware of the fact that my life is a lot simpler not having to deal with her. I also only started using these BPD techniques a few weeks ago, and wish I had had more time to see how things could be with consistent use.