I want to stay. I want things to work out she can be a wonderful partner.

[Dasumi]

I don't know where to start, my SO can be alot of work when she makes me become a caregiver and I want to have a romantic relationship not a care giving one.

We have dated for about 2 years and things have been hard on us both. It was not always this hard but I have gone 2 years without family friends or any support from anywhere I have looked. I have been isolated for 2 years and I need some support from somewhere, any advice is welcome. I am choosing to stay but I'm at wits end with my SO. How have the others survived so long? I'm looking for ways to cope and ideas on how to make it through this without leaving the relationship. 

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[vortex of confusion]

 

Your story is similar to many of the people that post here.

I would recommend starting out by reading the lessons that you can find to the right side of this forum.

It can be very confusing to be with a partner that can be really wonderful but can also be a lot of work. For me, the hard part has been recharging my batteries so that I can keep going. There is some good stuff in the lessons on taking care of yourself and finding inner strength.

[an0ught]

Hi Dasumi,

I don't know where to start, my SO can be alot of work when she makes me become a caregiver and I want to have a romantic relationship not a care giving one.

Good observation 

She is shifting responsibility on you and then you are going to take the blame for everything that is wrong  . And yes, becoming a caretaker is not doing much for romance.

Study the LESSONS. There are techniques that allow you to shift responsibility back to her. I won't tell you it is easy but with a bit of planning, possibly preparation discussion here on the board you may well be able to put a stop to this playing child of hers. Read up on boundaries. Again it takes some planning and thinking through so don't rush into it.

Becoming isolated is somewhat normal here. But so are then efforts to reach out again. Try to protect the few tenuous links you are having. Try to create new ones. Often isolation is a sign of exhaustion and depression. Consider reaching out to a T for yourself.

,

a0