2 weeks of NC and Tonight...

[JohnnyShoes]

I've been called in to work tonight from 5 to 10 (filling in... .causevi have no where to go or anything to do... .feeling sad)

Anyway... moments before I have to leave for work... I can't get her out of mY mind... .so I came here...

So much so I got the Shakes... .To call her... because A: I miss here.

B:) I feel so alone

Gotta run.

Gotta wirk

[Joe1290]

Stay strong, the momentary high that you will feel will turn into regret tomorrow. I have been out for 8 months and I still have that urge.

[joeramabeme]

Hang in JohnnyShoes.  I relate to the feeling of it is Saturday night and I have nowhere to go.  But in the spirit of reality checking, had we still been together it may have been very similar and I would still be doing the same thing while feeling confused about what was going on and how can I fix it.

[JohnnyShoes]

Thanks - work is keeping me busy... .but damn... it feels like a drug addiction... .

Brutal tonight

[hopealways]

Thanks - work is keeping me busy... .but damn... it feels like a drug addiction... .

Brutal tonight

It is exactly like a drug addiction! You are missing the high you felt during the great times, but it does get better with NC. Stay committed to NC and when you miss here, come and post here.

[JohnnyShoes]

Thanks - work is keeping me busy... .but damn... it feels like a drug addiction... .

Brutal tonight

It is exactly like a drug addiction! You are missing the high you felt during the great times, but it does get better with NC. Stay committed to NC and when you miss here, come and post here.

I will be posting as much as I can - its worse right now  - almost broke NC

[Loosestrife]

Stick with it JS. If you contact her you will be going back for more of the same - the same treatment, the same outcome, and then you will have to go through the last 2 weeks all over again. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm now 3 weeks and it is getting a little less painful each day. This weekend has been lonely.

[Tangy]

Stick with it JS. If you contact her you will be going back for more of the same - the same treatment, the same outcome, and then you will have to go through the last 2 weeks all over again. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm now 3 weeks and it is getting a little less painful each day. This weekend has been lonely.

Thanks - work is keeping me busy... .but damn... it feels like a drug addiction... .

Brutal tonight

I just want to remind the two of you as well as everyone else on here how strong you are! (And how strong I am). We sit through the lonely painful feelings and we still choose to take care of ourselves. This is probably one of the hardest things we will ever have to deal with and we are making it and we are doing it. And someday we are going to come out of the otherside and we will feel rejuvenated, energetic, and enlivened. We just have to get through this place first. But if we don't... .if we go back just to escape the feelings, then we are pushing back our days of sunshine... .because unless our pwBPD admit that they have their own problems and they get help and they change and grow we will all be right back here again. I know we think we can just go back and they will just magically change if we can do and say the right thing... .but we are not that powerful... .it is not magic . But WE ARE powerful enough to take control of our own lives and get ourselves to a place where we can be the best versions of ourselves and meet a person at our new level of health that will blow these relationships out of the water. We will be so happy and we will be so glad we didn't go backwards. Trust me, I was just crying my face off an hour ago so I'm not like super ahead of anyone here. I just wanted to speak what I know is true and try to encourage everyone!

[Darsha500]

Stick with it JS. If you contact her you will be going back for more of the same - the same treatment, the same outcome, and then you will have to go through the last 2 weeks all over again. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm now 3 weeks and it is getting a little less painful each day. This weekend has been lonely.

Thanks - work is keeping me busy... .but damn... it feels like a drug addiction... .

Brutal tonight

I just want to remind the two of you as well as everyone else on here how strong you are! (And how strong I am). We sit through the lonely painful feelings and we still choose to take care of ourselves. This is probably one of the hardest things we will ever have to deal with and we are making it and we are doing it. And someday we are going to come out of the otherside and we will feel rejuvenated, energetic, and enlivened. We just have to get through this place first. But if we don't... .if we go back just to escape the feelings, then we are pushing back our days of sunshine... .because unless our pwBPD admit that they have their own problems and they get help and they change and grow we will all be right back here again. I know we think we can just go back and they will just magically change if we can do and say the right thing... .but we are not that powerful... .it is not magic . But WE ARE powerful enough to take control of our own lives and get ourselves to a place where we can be the best versions of ourselves and meet a person at our new level of health that will blow these relationships out of the water. We will be so happy and we will be so glad we didn't go backwards. Trust me, I was just crying my face off an hour ago so I'm not like super ahead of anyone here. I just wanted to speak what I know is true and try to encourage everyone!

Thanks so much Tangy

[Loosestrife]

Stick with it JS. If you contact her you will be going back for more of the same - the same treatment, the same outcome, and then you will have to go through the last 2 weeks all over again. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm now 3 weeks and it is getting a little less painful each day. This weekend has been lonely.

Thanks - work is keeping me busy... .but damn... it feels like a drug addiction... .

Brutal tonight

I just want to remind the two of you as well as everyone else on here how strong you are! (And how strong I am). We sit through the lonely painful feelings and we still choose to take care of ourselves. This is probably one of the hardest things we will ever have to deal with and we are making it and we are doing it. And someday we are going to come out of the otherside and we will feel rejuvenated, energetic, and enlivened. We just have to get through this place first. But if we don't... .if we go back just to escape the feelings, then we are pushing back our days of sunshine... .because unless our pwBPD admit that they have their own problems and they get help and they change and grow we will all be right back here again. I know we think we can just go back and they will just magically change if we can do and say the right thing... .but we are not that powerful... .it is not magic . But WE ARE powerful enough to take control of our own lives and get ourselves to a place where we can be the best versions of ourselves and meet a person at our new level of health that will blow these relationships out of the water. We will be so happy and we will be so glad we didn't go backwards. Trust me, I was just crying my face off an hour ago so I'm not like super ahead of anyone here. I just wanted to speak what I know is true and try to encourage everyone!

 

[joeramabeme]

I will be posting as much as I can - its worse right now  - almost broke NC

How you doing tonight JS?  Are you more relaxed?  Is the anxiety and tension alleviated at all?

Thinking of a fellow non   

[joeramabeme]

I just want to remind the two of you as well as everyone else on here how strong you are! (And how strong I am). We sit through the lonely painful feelings and we still choose to take care of ourselves. This is probably one of the hardest things we will ever have to deal with and we are making it and we are doing it. And someday we are going to come out of the otherside and we will feel rejuvenated, energetic, and enlivened. We just have to get through this place first. But if we don't... .if we go back just to escape the feelings, then we are pushing back our days of sunshine... .because unless our pwBPD admit that they have their own problems and they get help and they change and grow we will all be right back here again. I know we think we can just go back and they will just magically change if we can do and say the right thing... .but we are not that powerful... .it is not magic . But WE ARE powerful enough to take control of our own lives and get ourselves to a place where we can be the best versions of ourselves and meet a person at our new level of health that will blow these relationships out of the water. We will be so happy and we will be so glad we didn't go backwards. Trust me, I was just crying my face off an hour ago so I'm not like super ahead of anyone here. I just wanted to speak what I know is true and try to encourage everyone!

Thanks Tangy, I am far away from these ideals but working towards them... .

[JohnnyShoes]

I will be posting as much as I can - its worse right now  - almost broke NC

How you doing tonight JS?  Are you more relaxed?  Is the anxiety and tension alleviated at all?

Thinking of a fellow non  

It's Monday morning 2am... been working since 10 pm - was still bad yesterday... .but something happened when I felt my anger... .anger helped to wake me up a bit. I was good for the rest of the evening... .

But its coning in waves... .and it Rocks me... shakes me...

Makes me want to break down and make contact... Then I think, how cone she hasn't contacted me? Why do *I* have to be the one to chase her... .fk that... I'm not doing it... bka bla bla...

And so I'm here... .I've got 4 more hrs before I go home and sleep...

So far I'm still NC.

I havent been thinking of her when working (for the most part)

Also... I wanted to say:

Thanks Tangy !