BPD and NPD

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Can pwBPD also be narcissistic? Mine seems like a NPD, but he's a cutter, which conflicts with NPD... .Any thoughts?

[Herodias]

Can pwBPD also be narcissistic? Mine seems like a NPD, but he's a cutter, which conflicts with NPD... .Any thoughts?

[Lifewriter16]

I read somewhere recently that all people with BPD are narcissistic by definition. What does everyone else think?

Lifewriter

x

[EaglesJuju]

Yes, BPD and NPD are commonly comorbid. Personalities are different for everyone and different traits encapsulate our personalities. Although self-harm is diagnostic criteria for BPD, other people with different personality disorder or Axis I disorders (Major Depressive Disorder) can fit the criteria for self-harm.  The diagnostic criteria seems cut and dry, but not every person who is diagnosed with BPD has every trait listed. A person only need 5 out of 9 criteria to be diagnosed.

There is a lot of overlap between BPD and NPD. Both BPD and NPD tend to have a great amount of shame and self-loathing underneath the guise of a false self. How that person engages in maladaptive behavior is what distinguishes BPD from NPD. Many times the behavior fits both BPD and NPD.

The pattern of behavior and rigid thinking is what you should focus on.

[gameover]

Personally, I think BPD and NPD are the same disorder, but with different degrees to the 'success' of their coping mechanisms.  The NPD, at some point, develops a rigid sense of false self to 'contain' and better mask their own BPD.    

Have you looked into the Vulnerable Narcissist?  It's closer to the midpoint of the spectrum between NPD and BPD, whereas the Malignant Narc is the overlap between NPD and ASPD.

[seang]

I believe my pBPDexgf was a hfBPD with narc traits.  Yes, i think all BPDs may have this possible link, but i think it would only act out in a hf one.  If that makes sense.

What im trying to say is, i feel the hf ones are the very worst.  They are "almost" normal on the outside, confident, arrogant to some degree, indapendant, and loving of attention.  These are the dangerous ones, who will NEVER accept fault, never seek help, and could quite possibly carry Narc traits easily into their mindset.

I thought i was  confident, aloof and a little "up myself".  But she crucifies me. LOL

[Invictus01]

I believe my pBPDexgf was a hfBPD with narc traits.  Yes, i think all BPDs may have this possible link, but i think it would only act out in a hf one.  If that makes sense.

What im trying to say is, i feel the hf ones are the very worst.  They are "almost" normal on the outside, confident, arrogant to some degree, indapendant, and loving of attention.  These are the dangerous ones, who will NEVER accept fault, never seek help, and could quite possibly carry Narc traits easily into their mindset.

I thought i was  confident, aloof and a little "up myself".  But she crucifies me. LOL

I almost posted the same exact thing. When my ex dropped me and I am trying to catch myself, my buddy told me - "That arrogant self centered selfish b... .doesn't deserve an ounce of your attention" At the time I thought he was just saying that to cheer me up but I later found out that just about all of my friends who interacted with her enough had the same opinion - arrogant, self centered, selfish b... .who constantly talked about herself... .

[ReneeMurphy523]

I think I read somewhere once that the narcissist isn't always borderline, but the borderline is always a narcissist.  Although, all BPD's are different, even if they have very similar behaviors, I feel it does vary. 

I have dealt with a few people like this in my life-Borderlines.  From my experience, they all had NPD features, but some more than others.  I do think that a BPD is able to maybe "feel" more than just a stone cold NPD.  But yeah, I guess what I am trying to say is that I think they (BPD) all have NPD features to varying degrees. 

I guess the difference from what I could tell is the BPD, even if they don't always show it, has a hard time letting people go.  The NPD does it with absolutely no remorse.

On a personal note, I feel like I can spot a bonafide NPD a lot better than a BPD.  NPD people seem so transparent to me.  I tend to be pretty empathetic and the BPD, pulls at heart strings more for me.  They do feel, but it is incredibly disordered. 

When I try to relate to my ex BPD bf, he reminds me of how I was at 13.  I guess that is the frame of mind I try to get into when I even try to fathom where he is coming from---a very emotionally immature, self absorbed child.  Very emotional-BPD, but also very self-absorbed and obsessed with his own self image-NPD.

[coldmist]

My exgf is high functioning BPD with a lot of NPD traits. She is skilled at gaslighting and the silent treatment is her specialty. When she dysregulated she wouldn't outwardly rage as she looks down on people who argue or get angry as it's "childish". She thinks she is "above" people who do that.

According to her she was "fat" when she was in high school which caused her to develop orthorexia nervosa (clean eating obsession) and she would often worry about gaining weight. She was overly concerned about her teeth being perfect and having skin blemishes. Her Facebook page of which I no longer look at largely turned into attention seeking pictures and her trying to show off how great her life is now. This is all due to her narcissism.