Birthday wishes from ex

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi all

I have had a birthday wish from my Ex UBPDW via a unknown email address which goes as follows,

'This day holds special meaning' It"s so sad that we are so far apart, I cannot hold you from the start.

So this birthday message comes from my heart.

I'm sending all my loving wishes with lots of hugs and birthday kisses!

I love you baby and I always will until my life ends.

Your baby.

I have been NC for 2 months now since the break up, should I respond with a simple thank you or stay NC.

Comments welcome please.

[English Sid]

Hi all

I have had a birthday wish from my Ex UBPDW via a unknown email address which goes as follows,

'This day holds special meaning' It"s so sad that we are so far apart, I cannot hold you from the start.

So this birthday message comes from my heart.

I'm sending all my loving wishes with lots of hugs and birthday kisses!

I love you baby and I always will until my life ends.

Your baby.

I have been NC for 2 months now since the break up, should I respond with a simple thank you or stay NC.

Comments welcome please.

[SGraham]

Well my ex forgot my b day when we were together (that feels great) so i would be pretty touched if she remembers my next b day. I would probably just go for thanks.

[Pretty Woman]

Hi Sid,

   Birthdays, important dates seem to be when they mysteriously pop up again.

Do you want to engage her? She has ignored you for two months. I don't know about you but the longer I don't hear from my ex the more detached I've become.  Even "thanks" opens up the door for more bull because you are responding to her.

Just a thought.

PW

 

Btw... .Happy Birthday!

[Sunfl0wer]

Did she create this unknown account for the purpose of making contact?

She has a regular email, why did she not try to send the message via her regular email?

Was she trying to circumvent your NC?

If so... .  Then that is "stalker-ish-like" behavior and I would NOT acknowledge that at all.

[Panda39]

I agree with PrettyWoman this is an attempt to engage you again.  Response or not depends on if you want contact again or not.  If it were me I would make no response.

Your ex is testing your boundary.

[enlighten me]

strange timing as its my birthday tomorrow.

My exgf messaged me yesterday asking if I wanted my son for a couple of hours tomorrow. This led to a long exchange about my future work and what it would mean to my contact with my son. She paid me compliments about my parenting and mentioned how well we had done raising him. I still haven't figured out what her end game is. Whether my taking a certain job will upset her happy little life or whether she actually wants me to not go I don't know. Strange how they use birthdays and other occasions to lead to things that could be discussed any time.

[Pretty Woman]

I turn the big 4-0 in two months. My ex will be on month 5 by then with her new GF. Our relationship as well as the ex two before me's relationship started tanking month three.

Holidays are a HUGE trigger and I was dumped before Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, My Birthday and New Years.


Any contact from her would NOT be a gift to me.  I truly hope this deceptive, snake of a woman makes her happy (this woman knew all our issues and went for her). In my heart I know it won't be happiness, just sick and destructive co-dependency. I just hope it lasts and I never have to worry about her showing up on my doorstep... .we live two miles from each other. All our mutual friends defected from her (all 40 of them). She has no one left to turn to.

[SGraham]

Hi Sid,

   Birthdays, important dates seem to be when they mysteriously pop up again.

Do you want to engage her? She has ignored you for two months. I don't know about you but the longer I don't hear from my ex the more detached I've become.  Even "thanks" opens up the door for more bull because you are responding to her.

Just a thought.

PW

 

Btw... .Happy Birthday!

Not to be a flip floper but i honestly didn't think of that, haha perhaps im not far enough along to put my two cents in. Anyway, opinion reversal from me english sid so you're now 5 for no response 

[saintgrey]

Today is my ex birthday and that got me thinking, she never remembered my birthday other first 2 years together and i remember how the first time she made a excuse about her feet hurting and went home maybe because she wasn't getting all the attention.

She didn't remember my birthday this year or even gave me a present after that, i had to tell her about it and i got the silent treatment 5 after that with a several arguments before because of the present my brothers gf got me.

I don't expect any communication from my ex in the future specially on my birthday, i think that was a trigger all this years. 

[English Sid]

Dear all

Thank you to all who replied.

I will not be replying to my ex as I agree with most of the advice given.

[Pretty Woman]

Sid,