Seeing exBPD again soon

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So now almost two months since my exBPD broke up with me and ive slowly begun to start feeling better or at least more stable. I still fluctuate between melancholy and rage, missing her and wishing I'd never see her again but the feelings are slightly less intense, less frequent and I'm feeling the best physically I have for a while.

But before the end of the month I will likely see my ex again through mutual friends at some sort of social event. It will have been over 3 months and to think last time I saw her we were still (seemingly) very much in love.

How should I act? How will they act?

[Corgicuddler95]

So now almost two months since my exBPD broke up with me and ive slowly begun to start feeling better or at least more stable. I still fluctuate between melancholy and rage, missing her and wishing I'd never see her again but the feelings are slightly less intense, less frequent and I'm feeling the best physically I have for a while.

But before the end of the month I will likely see my ex again through mutual friends at some sort of social event. It will have been over 3 months and to think last time I saw her we were still (seemingly) very much in love.

How should I act? How will they act?

[Mutt]

Hi Corgicuddler95,



I understand. It's good news that you're feeling more stable after three months and you also feel melancholy and rage. Where do you see yourself in the 5 stages of grieving?



How do you feel about going to the social event? Do you have an obligation to go?

[Corgicuddler95]

Hi Corgicuddler95,



I understand. It's good news that you're feeling more stable after three months and you also feel melancholy and rage. Where do you see yourself in the 5 stages of grieving?



How do you feel about going to the social event? Do you have an obligation to go?

Thank you.

I'm not sure how I've been feeling matches the 5 stages of grief as I think I'm out of the depression, denial and bargaining phases but feel both anger and resignation (anger about how I was treated but accepting I can't do anything about it etc).

I am co-running the event so yes I am obligated to attend but I'm also generally looking forward to it. I'm just unsure how I'll feel and act around my ex or how they'll act around me.

[Mutt]

Does she act out in public in front of friends and family?

My ex sometimes would act out in public if her family was present and mostly acted out in the car or in our family home.

[Corgicuddler95]

Does she act out in public in front of friends and family?

My ex sometimes would act out in public if her family was present and mostly acted out in the car or in our family home.

I think she's more of an act in sort of person, I.e. Like to seclude herself and I wouldnt be surprised if on the day she would rather stay at home. When out she acts "normal" most of the time

[Mutt]

Does she act out in public in front of friends and family?

My ex sometimes would act out in public if her family was present and mostly acted out in the car or in our family home.

I think she's more of an act in sort of person, I.e. Like to seclude herself and I wouldnt be surprised if on the day she would rather stay at home. When out she acts "normal" most of the time

It sounds like its 50 /50 if she'll be at the event or not and if she turns up she'll most likely be in check because she's out. It sounds like you really want to go and I would advise to not worry about it and I also understand it's easier said than done.