this bothers me the most

[poedameron]

What bothers me the most seems to be the idea that my exBPDgf of 3 weeks actually believes I was a narcissist and at fault for our relationship woes... .and that she is better off and happier getting rid of me... .she said "It's really nice to come home and not have to tip toe around you"... .ha, what a joke... .and it still grinds me... .and she used her new "friends" to enforce her beliefs... .

I saw her pinterest where she was pinning all kinds of boards about detaching from a narcissist etc... .why does this bother me so much?

[Invictus01]

I read stories like this one and thank my lucky stars that my girlie just decided to drop off the face of the Earth one day. Surely I didn't see it this way back then 'cause it felt like a mental torture, but I am not sure how I'd be able to put up with this kind of stuff... .

[Auslaunder]

I know I came out of my marriage looking like a totally insane person. High conflict persons are crazy making. My ex would tell me horrible lies about people and I would confront them and learn it was all made up. Mortifying! My reputation is dashed with many people through my own actions and then there is the slander campaign as well. It's perfectly logical to value your reputation and be angry to see some one drag it through the mud. Her perception isn't based on reality so it would be impossible to alter or improve your reputation with her. That's why it's so frustrating I think. She might be projecting in this case. BPD persons have an interest in psychology often and the insult of "you're crazy" seems really common.

[lovenature]

Sounds like she might be projecting onto you. Mine accused me of being a narcissist after I told her what I believed she was (back when I was really angry and had no desire for a relationship with her anymore); I had shown her the exact opposite of a narcissist in reality. Remember they make up their own reality based on their current emotion of the moment, and you know how different they are with friends etc. that they aren't intimate with; most never see what we do.

[myself]

"It's really nice to come home and not have to tip toe around you"... .

I heard and experienced something very similar. But the actions also showed it was with the addition of, "... .because I have intimacy and honesty issues and instead of working on them will just blame you, and while running away will go find people who don't know me and my issues (yet)."

That's not the healthiest way to detach from anyone, narcissist or not.

That's her life. How is your own detachment going, besides this?

[enlighten me]

Like others have said it could be her projecting onto you.

As for the why it bothers you. I know what messed me up the most was that I started to believe what my exgf was saying about me. Even though the evidence pointed against it she was so convincing that I couldn't help but think maybe she was right. Maybe it was all me. Perhaps this is why it bothers you. In some way she has you doubting yourself and maybe a part of you thinks she could be right. It was this inner struggle that caused me the most anguish.

[poedameron]

Yeah the "you're a narcissist" stuff didn't start until I started fighting back at her lies and craziness... her ex husband just laid down and let her do whatever and she ended up cheating on him and divorcing him.  So that wasn't going to be me... .I stood up to her, tried setting boundaries, which she agreed to, but then continually broke... .

... .my detachment (it's been a month) has been going ok, but I just got served papers.  Apparently she went to something called Safe House and filed a Personal Protection Order against me... .yeah.

[enlighten me]

Hi Poedameron.

Im sorry your going through this. You need to protect yourself if she has gone to these lengths. You don't know what she may have said about you so you need to prepare for the worst.

[SummerStorm]

My former friend BPD just did the same thing to me with all of her new friends.  On her birthday, she showed them texts I had sent, which were, I admit, pretty angry, and convinced them that I'm crazy.  These are people she just met and possibly her sister.  Regardless, they don't know me and will never know me. 

Over the summer, she tried to convince her now ex-boyfriend that I'm crazy, but by that point, he had been through a suicide attempt and physical abuse with her, so he didn't believe it. 

I can only imagine what she's saying about him, now that she's finally moved out of his place.  Up until yesterday, her cover photo on Facebook was a pic of the two of them with a local band they like.  Now, all of these new people are liking her new cover photo and profile photo.  So, I'm sure she's painted him very black, now that she isn't living with him anymore.