there's a cost to lc and nc.

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Cost of LC and NC:   no one tells you what has happened of any significance.  My BPD sis only calls when there's been a death in the family.  We have a small family and, while none of us are close, most of us would want to know.  In fact, I'd like to know general informal.  I have one cousin who calls every couple of weeks which I appreciate.  I also play dumb a lot because she's a sweet gal and would feel consternation if she knew she was my conduit.

[Coral]

Cost of LC and NC:   no one tells you what has happened of any significance.  My BPD sis only calls when there's been a death in the family.  We have a small family and, while none of us are close, most of us would want to know.  In fact, I'd like to know general informal.  I have one cousin who calls every couple of weeks which I appreciate.  I also play dumb a lot because she's a sweet gal and would feel consternation if she knew she was my conduit.

[HappyChappy]

Everything has a cost but NC for me was cheap at half the price. But you're right you have to weigh up the pros and cons. But if you really need medication and you can afford it... . 

[hopeful12345]

I'm the shunned one. I didn't go no contact. They all decided I was too horrible to talk to. So I made my own life.

It is a blessing, but there are things that are sacrificed. I did not find out when my sibling was very sick and it was touch and go. I did not find out when my father died. He was not great to me, but I would have liked to have gone to the funeral. No contact is the same as me being shunned. You don't know what is going on and have to weigh the pros and cons.

After a ten year shun/punishment from  my FOO, I am happy to keep it this way, even though I miss important information about people I still love. But the truth is, they chose  not to contact me and that's why I didn't know.

At this point in my life, I would not allow them back into my life, even if they wanted to come, even knowing I will miss my elderly mother's death and other things.

You have to decide what is best for you. It is not easy and sometimes you will feel badly. In the end, nobody will take care of you if you don't.

Hope this helped a lilttle.

[Sunfl0wer]

Coral, maybe you can find a way to get info with less connection?  Email? FB?  Or maybe you already have a way for this... .just thinkin.

[Coral]

Medication?  No clue of what was meant.

There are two people I care about.  Period.  As long as I am informed on how they're doing, I'm okay. Philosophically, it's sad but it's healthy.