What have you done lately that made you feel better?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I went for a bike ride on a trail through a conservation area this evening, going through a section of open fields I saw 8 or 9 white tailed deer. When I started down a back road, I saw the same amount of deer in a different field; 4 of them bounded across the street about 100 ft. in front of me, absolutely wonderful!

I have really struggled at times for a while now to get out and do something I enjoy, it was nice to have good timing, and something work out well.  

What have you done lately that made you feel better?

[lovenature]

I went for a bike ride on a trail through a conservation area this evening, going through a section of open fields I saw 8 or 9 white tailed deer. When I started down a back road, I saw the same amount of deer in a different field; 4 of them bounded across the street about 100 ft. in front of me, absolutely wonderful!

I have really struggled at times for a while now to get out and do something I enjoy, it was nice to have good timing, and something work out well.  

What have you done lately that made you feel better?

[Herodias]

Ive lost 22 pounds for one! I am trying to get out with friends... .I want to do more, but sometimes I just want to study BPD which on one hand makes me feel better in that I have done all I could do... .but I think it consumes me. I miss having a partner to do things with, yet I don't feel ready to date. I love nature as well... .glad you are getting out. I want to get back into my photography, but I am sad because I used to take the most beautiful pictures of birds on the pond behind my home and now I am in an apartment and have to find somewhere to go to take the pictures. I think I am having a hard time with the loss of my home too. It's a process... .

[LifeIsBeautiful]

Coincidentally I also bought a bike and started cycling. Not great scenery where I live but doing something, no matter how insignificant it may be, for myself made me feel better. Something I had forgotten with my stbxw, everything was about her and her "issues", i had forgotten how to live... .

[scgator]

I reached out to old friends and was honest about needing to get out and live life. We set up a weekly pool night. I fixed my motorcycle and have been taking it out for rides, walking the dog 2 to 3 times/day, talking to and introducing myself to anyone in the neighborhood I can. Went to a couple of meetups and met some new people. Borrowed an electric guitar and amp from a friend so I can try to learn how to play. Talked to a guy I work with who lives right up the street from me about needing to get out of the house so once a week we go get a couple beers and wings. Continue going to therapy and working on getting in touch with feelings I've walled up since childhood. Also, spending a little time thinking about the rs and all the things I tried and all the things I went through. I'd forgotten some of the attempts I made to make things better and realized I had really done all I could possibly have done to make the rs work. It's been a very good month.

[Michelle27]

Doing things for me, and taking time for me for reading or just relaxing is what makes me feel better.  I couldn't do that when I was with my ex because I was always on alert to his needs and moods.  I'm in the early months of a new relationship now and being conscious of my "old" patterns of putting someone else's needs ahead of my own and changing that is making me feel so much better too.  Being able to be open about it and feel understood is making a difference.  Being almost hyper conscious of my instinct to ignore my needs/wants in favor of someone else's is what I need to do in order to heal and knowing that I am the only one responsible for my own reactions and behavior is important.  Also doing therapy and working on myself has been a fantastic way to deal with my part of the dysfunctional relationship so I never repeat those patterns again has been important.

[SGraham]

I've been writing more lyrics which always makes me feel better, plus i went on a little day road trip by myself and got to see some new sights.

[michel71]

I saw a psychic medium. My deceased narcissistic mother came through. It was emotional but extremely healing. She apologized for hurting me. My co-dependency issues were made a lot clearer by my mother telling me that all I ever wanted was "love of mother" and spent my life trying to find it in my romantic relationships. She also told me to send my uBPDw down the river. Now I am pretty much a skeptic, but it was uncanny how this medium "channeled" all this information without knowing ANYTHING about me. I feel like this hole in my heart has been filled now as my mother said that she loved me and that she is protecting me. It was really life changing. I feel very empowered to face whatever comes my way in life.

As for getting out and doing things, I have yet to go to the gym I joined. I need to. For some reason, exercise is the hardest for me to get back into. I have started to read for pleasure again, not just self-help or BPD books. That feels good. I am thinking positive thoughts and encouraging myself to be "light" and have fun, whether it is cooking, seeing friends or watching something on tv that I like.

That is about it for now.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey lovenature, Agree, nature is a great place to reset one's dials.  I like to do artwork outdoors.  When I'm doing a painting, I lose track of time and can get in a "flow" in which I'm not really thinking all that much about what I'm doing.  When that happens, I feel better afterwards.

LuckyJim

[rotiroti]

Love the positive responses everyone!

Put me down for cycling and nature as well Nothing like watching the infinite beauty that is nature fly past you. I also started my reading list for a change and FINALLY got to read "The Selfish Gene" from cover to cover. The new edition is fantastic!

[seh77]

   I have been camping all Spring and Summer! Nature is such a wonderful place to heal wounds.  I have become more active and working on losing the weight gained while with my xBPDGF.  I am feeling so much like my old self now.  I too have bought a bicycle and am starting to ride. 

Cheers to everyone out there enjoying Nature and being HAPPY!

[Moselle]

I got myself a beautiful appartment and I'm taking one room at a time to decorate it really nicely. I started with my bedroom. I take pride in it every day when I walk in.

I also do all my cleaning, washing and ironing.

My clothes are lined up perfectly in the cupboard just how I like them. And I love coming home and doing my chores. I'm not sure why I love doing this stuff, but I do and I find it very therapeutic. I think its evidence to me that I am independent of her and that I can take care of myself really well.

Also love getting out and flyfishing on weekends.

I enjoy kicking her a$$ in legal matters too... .Sorry for that. Please forgive me?  

[greenmonkey]

Every day I wake up in my house thinking how calm and tranquil my life is now compared to this time a year ago.

I have started cyclocross training with a view of making up racing towards the end of the season. I have also got a MTB to enjoy the winter with. I am slowly becoming part of the cycling community in a lot of different ways and getting out and meeting people and getting my social life back

I live in the most beautiful part of the world close to the sea and the forest - that for me is perfect, and crazy is not in my life (apart from the stalking etc)

oh and I went down another jean size 

[balletomane]

I hadn't looked at his Facebook page/my replacement's page for a few weeks. I felt so much better for resisting this unhealthy habit and soon the temptation to do it faded.

Tonight I fell off the wagon. I wanted to see if I could look at their pages without being emotionally affected. Turns out I can't. I was immediately jerked to the point of tears and I felt sick, especially as it's obvious that they're still together (his relationship with me - his longest so far - was sinking by this point and I'm hoping theirs will do the same). But I'm not going to dwell on my self-sabotage - I was doing well and feeling OK-ish, so I will get back on the wagon and see if I can at least stay on it for longer this time.

[hollycat]

I have been working on improving my health. I discovered the world of green smoothies and am experimenting like mad.  I have a 97 year old historic house (one of the reasons for our break up as he said he could restore it and did practically nothing over the course of 2 years) and much of my paycheck goes to fixing it.  I spend alot of time looking for furniture for it. I like to be creative and I like antiques and I live at the beach, so I am trying to combine an antique cottage coastal look. I am a teacher and I am starting a debate club and researching it and preparing materials is starting to keep me busy. I still tend to cry alot when I drive because I still get mad at him. I really want a partner but as it turns out, he lied about everything.

[hopealways]

BRAVO to all of you! I too have taken up with home improvement, exercise and traveling. I am in the middle of a kitchen remodel and am so excited to see it done because I love to cook. I want to go back to Miami because I love that place although I am afraid I may get triggered because I went there with her once before: but better to face it than avoid it!

[myself]

Getting back to creative projects.

Spending extra time with my kids.

Long walks and fresh air. And laughing!

[dupchek4me]

Went for a long walk this morning after being very depressed.   Broke NC with hour long discussion/ranting a week ago.  Set me back to feeling that FOG again.   Read as many positive quotes as I could, even a few prayers (this from a semi reformed agnostic), and then it really helped to make a list of all the positives in my life, starting with my two grown daughters.   We all escaped the horror 6 years ago but i get sucked back in every once in a while.

But make that list of POSITIVES you have and concentrate on that.

Blow away the FOG.

You all take care.

I am heading for a business trip to Canada today. A.

[Moselle]

I went on a date 

I have alot of wounds after a 15 year relationship with a BPD/NPD spouse, but I am healing and I'm willing to try again.

I know what I want - a healthy relationship, I have my boundaries and feel safe, so I went out to have fun. And I really did!

[ArleighBurke]

Physical exercise for me always lifts my mood.

I had a challenging week last week. Friday was a fantastic spring day so I left work at lunch and went for a 2hr bicycle ride. It was outside, lovely weather, nature trail, hard work at times getting my heart pumping, but totally invigorating and it just lifted me.

[Kennyble]

I have finally started to post here!

Some say that a problem shared is a problem halved - I already feel much better at having some way/place to put my thought, feelings and concerns out there

Thank you bpdfamily!