My husbands gf posted this on Facebook...

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My husbands gf posted this on Facebook- he "liked" it as if to say, yes, you should want that! I could almost hear what he was thinking from what he told me at the end of our r/s-It's a very good thing- ironic he is not what she is looking for! My friend says she is starting to see the red flags by posting this- any thoughts? She must already see he's a drunk- they are now " living together " he is the opposite of all of this!  

... ."SELF WORTH (Very Deep!) In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, ':)o you really want to know?' Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes. She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... .or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... .believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... .he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him... .He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. Hey may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot. She replied, "I'm worth a lot". Send this to every woman who's worth a lot... .and every man who has the brains to understand!"

[Herodias]

My husbands gf posted this on Facebook- he "liked" it as if to say, yes, you should want that! I could almost hear what he was thinking from what he told me at the end of our r/s-It's a very good thing- ironic he is not what she is looking for! My friend says she is starting to see the red flags by posting this- any thoughts? She must already see he's a drunk- they are now " living together " he is the opposite of all of this!  

... ."SELF WORTH (Very Deep!) In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, ':)o you really want to know?' Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes. She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... .or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... .believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... .he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him... .He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. Hey may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot. She replied, "I'm worth a lot". Send this to every woman who's worth a lot... .and every man who has the brains to understand!"

[enlighten me]

It might not be her seeing red flags. It could be her still caught up in the idolisation phase. She may believe that he is all that she posted. If this is what she is expecting then trying to live up to that will be causing strain on him.

It could also be her trying to drag him back in line with her expectations of him.

Only time will tell.

I used to try and analyse these types of posts. Its very hard unless theres a repeated pattern and you have an inside track on whats happening.

[Herodias]

Thanks... .I know what you mean, it could be her trying to keep him in-line (good luck with that!). This girl seems to post everything that is going on... .It's so clear to me in some ways due to knowing him so well.

Today she just posted an article about cheating on Facebook! They both cheated on their spouses and are now together. She doesn't know about all the others he cheated on me with, even though two of them are her fb friends! Plus, everyone at work (they work for the same company and met there) knows he is a womanizer! Well, the article says if you cheat on the person you are in a r/s with, it means you do not love them! (I guess she doesn't know about BPD) Interesting coming from someone who just pronounced her love for her own husband on FB last February! By the way, she says she believes this article "hole heartedly" - this chick can't even spell!  We know what kinds of conversations they must be having, don't we?  Fear of abandonment, FOG, etc... .should be interesting to see how much longer this one lasts! She must think their relationship is so special, they don't have to worry about cheating... .ridiculous.

[enlighten me]

Do you think she may be BPD?

[Herodias]

I have honesty been thinking that! The people that knew her at work said she "thinks she's all that" and she doesn't listen... .I said it could be the love-bombing though. She is 26, but she should be a bit more mature than that, don't you think? The fact that she cheated on her husband a year ago with mine,then mine painted her black- then left her husband as soon as I dumped mine in Jan. Then they got into a r/s immediately... .and that she posts everything, I mean, EVERYTHING, to Facebook, shows me that she actually could be. Should be interesting to watch. I am learning so much and yes, at times it is upsetting. I don't want him back, but I feel like I am so into the psychology of it all... .I am so curious to see how it goes. Like it's a reality show or something!

[enlighten me]

I know what you mean. I have a son with my exgf so have to communicate with her. I was going to delete her on fb but that was the only line of communication she would use when I worked away.

I now use it as a sort of case study. It has helped me to interact with her and avoid conflict.

Be careful though people can get sucked into those reality shows. Its nice to change the channel ever now and again.

[Herodias]

I know what you mean... .I keep trying not to look, but it's hard, when you want to see it all fall apart. It will be nice if he moves on to someone who, if they use Facebook, they at least set it to private instead of public!    Who knows, she could have it that way so her husband can be jealous as well as me. My husband knew I had been looking, so I assume she knows(not sure), but now I am nc, so he may not know whether or not I still am. The sad thing for her is that everything she wanted out of life her husband gave her... .Property, horses and a nice home. She posts that she wants to have that again some day. She will never with mine, that's for sure. She doesn't know how in debt he is. Besides, I am sure he is already cheating on her as well. According to employees at the store, he never stopped chasing women. I heard of others he went after and they would tease him that he wouldn't be able to get this one or that one, for what ever reason. I don't know how he keeps his job! I wish they would have told me this before, but I guess people don't want to get involved in others business until you ask. She worked with him while he was doing all of this, so I would be surprised if she doesn't know. Again, I think she is trying to convince herself that he didn't love me, but now he won't cheat because their r/s is so special!