When I feel the pain

[WhatJustHappened?]

There's a moment between going to bed and falling asleep where I feel the pain. Thinking of the moments we shared together, especially in my bed. It's definitely the hardest time for me and can keep me up for a bit. My mind races with all of the "what if's", "could have been", "should have been", etc.

[enlighten me]

I used to do this aswell. I ended up watching telly and setting the off timer. This worked for me. I also got rid of my bed. It was too triggering for me not knowing what she got up to in it while I was away.

[WhatJustHappened?]

Luckily, we had LDR so there was no chance to of any shenanigans happening in my bed. Good tip about the TV timer though... .

[enlighten me]

Distraction was the key for me. That and wearing myself out. I dread to think the amount of family guy and American dad Ive watched as theyre on at the time I go to sleep. You also don't have to think when watching them.

I know its not meant to be good for you going to sleep with the tv on but better that than no sleep.

[SGraham]

For me thar moment is when i first wake up. It is as if the reality of my existence rushes back to me in one second.

[enlighten me]

I also used to think of my ex as soon as I woke up. One morning though I was half way through making coffee before I realised I hadn't even thought of her. After that it got better and better.

[Darsha500]

When my first thought upon waking up is longer my ex I will know I have made great progress. One day at a time.

[SGraham]

When my first thought upon waking up is longer my ex I will know I have made great progress. One day at a time.

For sure. Additionally, i think my milestones will be met when i can listen to the music we listened to together without getting triggered. I don't like them that much but my ex always put on Fall out boy so now when they come on pandora i have a mini panic attack.

[WhatJustHappened?]

Ain't that the truth. Music is a big trigger for me. I used to send my ex songs that I thought expressed my feelings for her. I can't listen to any of them now.

A few weeks ago, I was driving and listening to music on my phone. My ex sent me an audio recording a while back which started playing. I almost jumped through the windshield!

[enlighten me]

I also was triggered by music. I had a little trick that worked for me. I found other songs by the band that had a meaning I could relate to. I also re evaluated the meaning of other songs. It helped a little and now I don't find any of the songs my ex liked painful.

For example Drops of Jupiter by train is one of my exs favourites. I saw it as a love song about someone special. Now I see it as someone looking at an exs behaviour as not quite right.

[SGraham]

I also was triggered by music. I had a little trick that worked for me. I found other songs by the band that had a meaning I could relate to. I also re evaluated the meaning of other songs. It helped a little and now I don't find any of the songs my ex liked painful.

For example Drops of Jupiter by train is one of my exs favourites. I saw it as a love song about someone special. Now I see it as someone looking at an exs behaviour as not quite right.

Haha no way! I was really into" soul sister" when i met my ex.

[dupchek4me]

The pain happens with me, morning and night time.   After 30 years, its hard to ignore memories.   I rarely listen to music because it will trigger depression and bad thoughts.   I drift back into the FOG here and there.   I don't watch certain shows that we used to watch together.   Stay away from our favorite restaurants.   Its very sad.   I suffer tremendously at times.   Its a struggle day in and day out after building a life time of memories.   Make a list of positives in your life and try to concentrate on that.   Stay busy.   Rely on friends.   Get out and enjoy life to blow away the FOG.

[Herodias]

I can't wait to wake up and not think about him or go to bed thinking about him for that matter! Songs are a problem for me too. Especially if they are played in a store or something when I can't turn them off! His favorites were all about affairs and cheating- imagine that. In the beginning it was songs by 3 doors down, the words were; I'm just trying to be somebody, I'm not trying to be somebody else. Another one was " "behind those eyes you lie"- should have told me something, huh... .later the song apologize- "It's too late to apologize"- yep... .then that newer one about "when you call me baby, I know I'm not the only one" ... .All meaningful now that I know about his lies.

[helpmewithbpd]

All these I can relate to,  i now can get past the first 10 or so minutes after waking up with out thinking of her but the moment I'm in the shower it runs through my head it can be anything and everything iI think about,  it completely does my head in and on weekends iIkeep myself busy but I still think about what she is up all weekend and school holidays,  today is a killer for me as i dreamt about her last night and her telling me how she's have sex with someone else and that's all it is,  which is the truth anyway she really is but dreaming about it and seeing her say it to me was really hard,  I understand we have bad days but this is a killer day and everything on here is ringing close to home today