Unfortunately it's as if now that things have calmed I miss the drama?
i think most of us experience this, and even if you dont rationally, your body quite literally does. we tend to become conditioned in these relationships, whether its walking on eggshells, becoming hypervigilant, waiting for the next shoe to drop, the highs and lows, the back and forth of idealization/devaluation, the multiple shocks to the system, it all makes for running on constant adrenaline. its exhausting stuff . suddenly it gets quiet, and for the most part all we have is our thoughts, which are torturing us. in your case you are also still exposed so equilibrium is quite a challenge .
i understand things are fresh. it really sounds to me like youre doing the right things here. in spite of the weight on your shoulders, you havent lost your productivity; that will pay off. youre getting counseling; you can add to it later when less is on your plate. youre avoiding workaholism, both spending time with and enjoying your time with your children, and a good support system of family and friends is a must. im very glad you have them.
