Hi Teachergirl,
This is my first time here. My significant other has PTSD and BPD. We're in a cycle of breaking up and getting back together. Usually, I am very reactive to this behavior. However, last night I went silent in the conversation. Every time he does it, afterwards he says its for my "entertainment". How can I stop this cycle she set boundaries? Help!
clearly you don't want to be "entertained". Boundaries the way we define them here work since we acknowledge that the other side may not adhere to them (particularly when we start having them - it gets easier over time) and we need a plan to deal with that. In this case doing an exit / time-out would be a valid strategy:
He: blah
You: I'm not open to "entertainment" right now. You love to point out YYY. Let's focus on xxx (real facts). <this is following the SET scheme - see workshops there. Sometimes it helps getting through>
He: blah
You: I'm not open to "entertainment" right now. Let's continue the discussion in an hour/tomorrow. <leave the room/home - see workshops on boundaries>
,
a0