Hi MGS
I'm glad you've found us and are reaching out for support here Many of our members indeed know what it's like to have a parent with BPD and will be able to relate to you. I hope participating here will help you feel less isolated.
Could you tell us a bit more about your mother's behaviors that lead you to believe she has BPD? What kind of things does she say or do that you find most unpleasant or difficult to deal with?
Your desire to talk things through logically with your mother is understandable. If she indeed has BPD, the rational approach often is difficult because feelings often equate to facts for people with BPD:
Telling a person she shouldn't feel the way she does feel is akin to telling water it shouldn't be wet, grass it shouldn't be green, or rocks they shouldn't be hard. Each person's feelings are real. Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real. Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature... .Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile.
You mention realizing your mother still has a lot of control over you. In what ways do you still feel controlled? Does your mother still actively do things now to control you? Does she perhaps uses things such as fear, obligation or guilt to try and control you?
Welcome to bpdfamily
