Weird Coincidences

[Pretty Woman]

Hey All,

   Wondering if anyone else has experienced this... .

Recently I am looking at new cars. There is a car in particular I really want and I am seeing it all over the place.

I wonder if the same can be said when it comes to thinking about the BPD ex? My ex has a name that is not very common. Her first name is very girly and starts with a J. Her last name, well I never heard of it until I worked with her sibling and then met her. Until recently they are the only people I know with this name.

A few weeks ago my boss told me: "Please contact ___________ about the webinar she is hosting". I almost fell off my chair. Thank God my ex is not in my industry. This woman had the same name and went by an abbreviation as she does! Luckily it was only a webinar (not face to face) but still weird.

Then, this week I see a dog online I want to adopt. The woman who currently has the dog is the VP of the shelter.

So I get an email from her... .again... .heart attack mode... .first initial and same last name as my ex! I thought she was emailing me from a new account.

Turns out the email is her maiden name. She is likely a distant cousin or relative of my ex given the region where this dog is (60mi from here). Still. Weird.

Just now as I am typing this very post my co-workers phone rung and she answered, "Hi, ________ how are you" (my ex's name).

This is just nuts.  Sometimes I feel so connected to my ex even though she is not good for me and I cannot resume anything with her.

Does anyone else ever have this happen to them with another person, be it their BPD ex or not? Just curious. The universe sure is strange sometimes... .

PW

[enlighten me]

Hi PW

Its actually a very common thing. I don't know what its called but when you become aware of something you start noticing it. Ive done this with cars, songs, food even.

Its similar to waking up and seeing your clock time on all the same number. you may have woken up a dozen times but the only time that registered was an easy one to remember.

[seh77]

PW,

I too have felt the same.  I live in a small town so there are so many connections. 

I am actually thinking about moving after my son graduates High School.  Just for a fresh start and not worry about her.

[Pretty Woman]

Hi Seh,

   I have been thinking the same. No kids and ironically this is MY hometown but it's time for a change. Right before she met her new GF she was saying she missed Madison and wanted to move... .but new GF is in the area too and she has an elderly mom with med problems. 

my place is small and I'm just feeling ready to get a house with a yard (in a townhome... .condo style). I have two cats and may be getting a dog tonight that's being fostered.  Someday I hope she means nothing to me. Right now I just hate I ever met her.  It's such a weird feeling.

[SGraham]

Yeah that is a weird coincidence, haha i decided dodge challengers are my favourite muscle cars now i see em all the time. On a more BPD related note, my friend introduced me to her room mate. Anyone have any guesses... .Room mate has same name as my ex, and she doesn't have a very common name. 

[fromheeltoheal]

Hey PW-

The thingy with the cars is your reticular activating system, the part of our brain that decides what to focus on.  Without it we would focus on everything all the time and therefore nothing.  You're noticing the car you want everywhere because you've been focusing on that car.  There's a lesson there: focus on what we want, in a relationship, a job, a life, and we may just get it, or at least notice it when it shows up.

The thingy with the names is weird.  What if it's the universe giving you an extinction burst of that name, to saturate your consciousness with it, so it no longer matters, you've become immune.

[Pretty Woman]

HeeltoHeel,

   I really hope it's not an extinction burst of the name because two of my cousins have GF of the same name . I LIKE them.

[fromheeltoheal]

HeeltoHeel,

   I really hope it's not an extinction burst of the name because two of my cousins have GF of the same name . I LIKE them.

No worries PW, it's the emotional attachment that will become extinct, you get to keep the name, even attach new, positive emotions to it with them gals you like.