No Contact finally sinking in...

[Depression = 72% of members]

I finally made it a month of no contact! My styx husband, text me at 2:27am (I put my phone on "do not disturb" so it didn't wake me) to let me know he transferred alimony money to me  and said " I hope you are doing well". I told him last month he didn't need to tell me that each time, that I would figure out if it was there... .He was probably drinking when he text that. I haven't seen him in about 2 months and am now finally 30 days no contact at all. I really do see the difference in how I feel- I have no interest in answering him like I did in the past... .I can't believe that I have been separated since the end of January, found out about the GF in May and am now after that much time, am finally not interested in talking to him. Sure, I am upset about my cat, that he was supposed to take, but decided he was not responsible enough,  that now has a disease that I have to take care of... .I feel like he would be upset if down the road I have to put him down and I don't tell him... .but he isn't asking me how things are here, so I am not going to tell him anything. I feel I have reasons to talk to him, but I am not going to. I am proud of myself for not answering like I did every other time he text me... .I also blocked everyone of his friends and family on Facebook. That took guts, but I don't think most of them even noticed. Maybe his direct family did, but I needed to do it. They haven't said anything- it felt weird. I just wanted to check in. I am getting better... .slowly, very slowly  

[Herodias]

I finally made it a month of no contact! My styx husband, text me at 2:27am (I put my phone on "do not disturb" so it didn't wake me) to let me know he transferred alimony money to me  and said " I hope you are doing well". I told him last month he didn't need to tell me that each time, that I would figure out if it was there... .He was probably drinking when he text that. I haven't seen him in about 2 months and am now finally 30 days no contact at all. I really do see the difference in how I feel- I have no interest in answering him like I did in the past... .I can't believe that I have been separated since the end of January, found out about the GF in May and am now after that much time, am finally not interested in talking to him. Sure, I am upset about my cat, that he was supposed to take, but decided he was not responsible enough,  that now has a disease that I have to take care of... .I feel like he would be upset if down the road I have to put him down and I don't tell him... .but he isn't asking me how things are here, so I am not going to tell him anything. I feel I have reasons to talk to him, but I am not going to. I am proud of myself for not answering like I did every other time he text me... .I also blocked everyone of his friends and family on Facebook. That took guts, but I don't think most of them even noticed. Maybe his direct family did, but I needed to do it. They haven't said anything- it felt weird. I just wanted to check in. I am getting better... .slowly, very slowly  

[hollycat]

I am happy for you and your post gives me hope!

[jhkbuzz]

Good for you, Herodias!

The good news is that you will keep feeling better and better. You'll have some hard days for sure, but overall you will find that you're doing much better.

[hopealways]

Hey Blue I am proud of you! I am 10 weeks NC but it does get better so hang in there!

[enlighten me]

Hi Blue

What a difference from when you first arrived. Your doing so well. Keep it up. It gets even better.

EM

[Loosestrife]

Keep going, you are doing amazing!

[klacey3]

Well done blue! You are doing so well. That was a big step you took. Onwards and upwards

[Herodias]

Thanks everyone- I think studying everything I can is what's helping. I still have moments when I wonder if I'll ever meet anyone else... .I don't understand why it's so hard to meet people? I refuse to go to bars or online. That's how I kept making mistakes before- bars! I just know I'll never get into this situation again.

[jhkbuzz]

Thanks everyone- I think studying everything I can is what's helping. I still have moments when I wonder if I'll ever meet anyone else... .I don't understand why it's so hard to meet people? I refuse to go to bars or online. That's how I kept making mistakes before- bars! I just know I'll never get into this situation again.

I don't know where you live, but if Meetup.com is active near you, try it! It's not a dating site - it's groups of people who get together over a common interest. And it was a lifesaver for me before I had built up a circle of friends after the b/u.

[myself]

I am proud of myself for not answering like I did every other time he text me... .

  Changing our own negative patterns is key to helping us detach.

[Mutt]

Hi Herodias,

Good for you that you're self protecting and you're starting to feel better