Moving on

[Beach_Babe]

What did you guys find most helpful in your healing process?

I am finding myself leaning toward blocking my ex again. Not because I have ill will but because leaving that door "open" after a rejection is simply too painful. I feel very petty and guilty for considering it though.

Thoughts?

[myself]

What's helped most is choosing, and accepting, that the r/s is really over.

Then there's no more back and forth, waiting for the phone to ring, etc.

Continue sorting through your facts and feelings. Love yourself.

[enlighten me]

For me it was re writing memories and creating new ones.

By re writing I mean things like places, food, music I replaced the memories associated with them.

By creating new memories I had to go out and do new things. Move on with my life.

[Remiman]

I am struggling with the acceptance. I know it won't work. Everyone I talk to says it won't work. I don't want a relationship where I am treated as badly and disrespectfully. But she checks in every week. We broke up in April. Making out like we can get back together. And it torments me. I can't seem to just follow through once and for all

[Beach_Babe]

What's helped most is choosing, and accepting, that the r/s is really over.

Then there's no more back and forth, waiting for the phone to ring, etc.

Continue sorting through your facts and feelings. Love yourself.

this is spot on, thank you for this. Its where I need to be. How long did it take you to

get there?

EM:  Here is where I struggle. Because 13 of those 14 years were good. I see memories everywhere.

Remiman: why does she check in every week?

[Mutt]

Hi Beach_Babe,

I feel very petty and guilty for considering it though.

My advice to you Beach_Babe is cut yourself some slack  myself has good advice, you have compassion, turn that back on yourself with self-compassion.

[Remiman]

Beach babe. It varies. To tell me she misses me. To tell me it doesn't have to be this way. To ask if I've moved on yet or if I am with someone. To tell me she's single. To tell me she's dating. To tell me she's moved on and is really happy. To tell me she's not happy with new man. Etc etc. at the moment she's playing the single / missing me / things could be different angle

[jhkbuzz]

What did you guys find most helpful in your healing process?

I am finding myself leaning toward blocking my ex again. Not because I have ill will but because leaving that door "open" after a rejection is simply too painful. I feel very petty and guilty for considering it though.

Thoughts?

Here's a thought:

Put YOUR needs first - unequivocally, robustly, unapologetically. What YOU need matters. If you want to block him, do it. Honor and love yourself by meeting your own needs, whatever they may be. It's more than "okay" to do so - it's part of your path to healing.

[Beach_Babe]

Remiman: so basically you are a fallback ?

jhkbuzz: i dont want to block him,  but the rejection is so painful. He no longer wants my friendship, or thinks im even worthy of a response.

[hopealways]

Time is the most helpful in the healing process. You just have to trust the power of NC. It is not logarithmic, some days you may take a step back, but it DOES get better. You really do start to get a new and improved form of your old self back! Kinda scary but rather nice.

[Beach_Babe]

I sure hope so. How long did the process take for you?

[jhkbuzz]

Remiman: so basically you are a fallback ?

jhkbuzz: i dont want to block him,  but the rejection is so painful. He no longer wants my friendship, or thinks im even worthy of a response.

I have experienced that pain - I understand completely. But perhaps the part of you that is reaching for wholeness is telling you that it's time... .you need to take a step to bring this to a close, and blocking him will do it.

What do you think?

[Beach_Babe]

Maybe thats how he feels about me too?