broke up (since 3 months)

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

he finally stopped texting and calling... .3 months without seeing each other... .but 2 weeks ago he was still texting that he feels sorry for how things went and how much he wanted to restart everything and that he could have done it differently. yesterday i saw him for the first time on a bar with friends... .we looked in the eyes... .it was sad

the break up was what i wanted, to get rid of him... .why i miss him now ?

how to stop this feelings?

i feel nostalgic and melancholic... .

[ImGoingCrazy]

he finally stopped texting and calling... .3 months without seeing each other... .but 2 weeks ago he was still texting that he feels sorry for how things went and how much he wanted to restart everything and that he could have done it differently. yesterday i saw him for the first time on a bar with friends... .we looked in the eyes... .it was sad

the break up was what i wanted, to get rid of him... .why i miss him now ?

how to stop this feelings?

i feel nostalgic and melancholic... .

[saintgrey]

If this was a LTR its ok to feel that way, NC is recommended a lot but I've learn that to some extend it can be a issue because you stop communicating abruptly, of course one day will come you will see them again and bring back memories and feelings we thought were in the past.

Maybe you still have feelings of unresolved issues with him, the need of closure.

[ImGoingCrazy]

I just found out he had a replacment just 1 week after i broke up with him , and still he was writing me to go back... .how kan they do this?  :

[Mutt]

he finally stopped texting and calling... .3 months without seeing each other... .but 2 weeks ago he was still texting that he feels sorry for how things went and how much he wanted to restart everything and that he could have done it differently. yesterday i saw him for the first time on a bar with friends... .we looked in the eyes... .it was sad

Hi ImGoingCrazy,

I agree with saintgrey about feelings.

Are you feeling guilt?

[cyclistIII]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Emotions are complicated -- you know that you are better off without him, because of the bad times, but you still miss him, because of the good times. That's the whole problem with this disorder. What I want is to have the good, loving version of my ex come back and be with me and stay forever and never become the difficult and mean version again, but that is not realistic... .the problem is that my brain knows this, but my heart is taking some time to catch up.

As to how someone can move on so quickly, I think it doesn't necessarily mean you meant nothing to him -- some people try bury their pain in alcohol or drugs or whatever and other people cope with break-ups by trying to find a 'replacement' as soon as possible; it's a coping strategy, an attempt to shut down the feelings for the person they have lost (which may or may not work... .)

But the most important thing is that you have chosen to move on, and what he does is no longer your concern. It's really hard but I believe it will get easier with time. (And I am saying this to myself as much as to you... .)