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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: breaking up with BPD BF  (Read 521 times)
didIdorightthing

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3


« on: October 04, 2015, 09:27:48 PM »

I have been in a relationship for 2.5 years. This year my BF has thrown three things at me when he has got angry. The last was a coat hanger and it split my forehead open. I had to take 3 days off work and now people know. He also finally got dianosed with BPD as a result of me leaving  him for good,  and him threatening suicide.

He now says he can get better and we can be together again. Ofcourse I am confused, angry, hurt, grieving at the moment.

I just want to know I did the right thing leaving ( I know I had too)

It is really hard right now but I know I can get through it. I just need to share and find out what others have gone through. My councellor says they can't change and he would have been voilent in other relationships ( he has) he just said I made him really a happy so it was confusing to me, why I got so hurt, broken nose, cut head and now spilt forehead.  As they say time is a great healer and that is what I am doing taking each day as it comes... .can we still be friends or should I cut all ties... .?
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cyclistIII
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 87



« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2015, 10:48:43 PM »

You did the right thing! I want to type that five times in a row: you did the right thing, you did the right thing, you absolutely did the right thing!

He must have a lot of lovable qualities or you wouldn't have been with him, and he may feel helpless and out of control because of his illness, but if he is hurting you then his reasons and circumstances ultimately don't matter -- you need to get away and be safe!

And yes, these break-ups are so hard, but it does get better, and you will find people on this site who are going through almost identical situations.
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didIdorightthing

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3


« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2015, 12:00:32 AM »

Yes deep down I had to leave. I have scars on my face, can't have anymore. I will get there eventually. Thanks
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