How to respond?

[blackorchid]

I've just had my first message in a month from my BPD boyfriend. He moved out of our apartment after having a small argument the same day a month ago. Internet is in his name. I'm a foreigner in the country so not entitled to open an account myself

His message clearly just says I'm only contacting about the Internet. I want to cancel it what will you do

How do I respond? Waiting for advice as I've handled everything so wrong and with too much emotion the past month. He's given me the ST since he left

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[babyducks]

hi blackorchid,

I would say respect his message.   If some one says all I can talk about today is the Internet bill I would accept  that at face value.   

Still I can see how that would be unsatisfactory for you, so since the door is open I would suggest, and this is a suggestion only, something like this.

Hi Boyfriends Name,

I plan on doing XYZ with the Internet connection.

I understand that you don't want to talk any farther right now.   If that should change I would like to hear more from you.   I don't feel comfortable with how we left things and hope that we could _______. (you'ld have to fill in the blank here)

BlackOrchid.

You would need to put it in your words and tweak it to fit what you feel.

what do you think?

'ducks

[blackorchid]

Hi babyducks. Thank you that sounds perfect. I couldn't think of a way to sign off on it. Thank you

[CrazyChuck]

Tell him there is free internet at Starbucks.

[Skip]

Tell him there is free internet at Starbucks.

If he cancels the Internet at your house AND you can't open an account because you are not a citizen - you will be the one going to Starbucks  

This might not be the best response.  

[blackorchid]

I responded in the manner of babyducks. He read it almost immediately but gave no reply. When I woke up this morning I've once again been blocked... .guess I didn't give the reaction he wanted... .?

[Beach_Babe]

I think babyducks has a very good reply.

[babyducks]

I responded in the manner of babyducks. He read it almost immediately but gave no reply. When I woke up this morning I've once again been blocked... .guess I didn't give the reaction he wanted... .?

Hi black orchid,

what I have learned is that if I measure myself or my actions against or through someone who has a serious mental disorder I am doing myself a disservice.

I have found it is much better to measure myself against myself.   Did I do what was right for me?   Am I happy that I made the best effort, choice, decision I could?

'ducks

[blackorchid]

That makes perfect sense babyducks thank you