Anyone else have childhood recurring nightmares related to their parent's BPD?

[pookielocks]

i didn't figure this out until i was much older, but i used to have a recurring nightmare about my mother as a child.

background - my mom was a teacher with brown hair.

in my dream (i was about 6-7 when these started), my garage was made into a small classroom. everything would be normal. then suddenly, the teacher with brown hair (she wasn't my mother in the dream) would start turning into a monster. all the kids would run in my house and shut/lock the door. we'd return again when the monster was back to being a teacher.

obviously, i figured out that this represented my mother.

did other have similar dreams?

[Kwamina]

Hi pookielooks

Sounds like a scary dream indeed!  The way you look at your dream now is actually also how I now interpret a recurring dream I had as a child. I recently posted about this so I'm just gonna re-post here:

This incident actually reminds me of a recurring dream/nightmare I used to have as a child. In the dream I was always in our house and suddenly I realized that there was a presence there. It was also a sort of shade or shadow and when I saw it, I froze and couldn't move or talk anymore. When the shadow reached me I always woke up immediately. The shadow actually never hurt me in the dreams though but it was still very scary. As a kid I had a tennis-ball and the last time I had this dream, I confronted the shadow and threw my tennis-ball at it. That was the last time I had this dream. The dream scared me as child but now looking back at it, I've come to interpret it in another way. I was taught to believe the danger came from the outside world, while in reality the danger came from inside our house from my own family. You could say the dream might have been my subconscious alerting me to the danger from inside that I wasn't fully aware of yet as I was just a child. I've had similar dreams that to me also convey this message of 'the danger from within lurking in the shadows'.

[Sunfl0wer]

I have had constant nightmares most of my life.  They are no longer constant, however, resurface as I am trying to work through things and feelngs that are troublng me.  (So this week they are active again . )

I hate the reoccuring ones or reoccuring themes and even upon wakening, they can continue to make me feel disoriented for a time after being awake.

Lately, the past several years, I can see that my fears are being represented and that my recollection of the dream is strongest around my feelings memory (vs visual memory).

Often the figures and characters are not clearly visually represented, but more as an abstract presense.

I imagine realizing that your monster teacher character is your mom is quite distressing and brings forth a new way to process this.   

Some things I have found helpful is making a positive bedtime routine that includes positive thoughts and actions related to self care.  Such as: evening relaxing tea, relaxing book, meditative music, writing in a gratitude journal, a lite chat with someone who cares.

Interesting to note: While with my uNPD/BPDtraits BF, I was having reoccuring bad dreams of the theme of "housing insecurity."  In my dreams I was living in shelters or dangerous situations where life was a daily fear and struggle.  I woke up feeling afraid of not having a place to live.  Well, I never would have imagined that "being left" by my BF... .would relieve me of these nightmares.  Since we are not together, and I am realizing I CAN in fact support myself... .these nightmares have stopped! 

[pookielocks]

both of your dreams have a theme in my mind. borderlines often want us all to themselves, making us fearful of the outside world when, like kwamina said, the real "evil" is right in our own homes causing the fear. interesting. all 3 of our dreams have that feel to them.

[Confused#2]

Hi Pookilooks!

When I was younger (probably between 7-12) I had a recurring nightmare about my uBPDmother.  In the dream she is coming out of her bedroom "dressed" using my little sister. Meaning my little sister was her "dress" by splitting my little sister's body over my mother's body.  All the rest of the sibs were in the living room watching her walk toward us. I remember feeling that after my little sister's body (dress) would wear out, I knew she would use us all like this! One by one! I had this several times during that period but not after that. What is amazing is that I was her little friend/therapist/caretaker. Although I know now that I must have been afraid of her, I would not have known that then. But I know I always felt, although my father was more physically abusive, that I feared my mother would kill all of us kids. Strange.