In love and she may have BPD

[Wolf2217]

Please don't judge. We're both married, 6 months in this affair. A rekindle of a brief relationship 25 years ago before we both got married. She is deeply depressed, highly sexual, amazingly so, and can't share or vocalize her feelings. She also says she wishes she was dead so she could have peace, her marriage is mentally abusive but she says she's not sure she could ever leave. Religious reasons, and he has health issues with no family to care for him. I love her and I am losing motivation for my work, my gym time, to obsess over her my mind is overwhelmed with questions, feelings, confusion, I am beginning to pull back a little starting today not telling her I love her but still being there still having the hot ass sex with her. She goes cold and hot on texting or contacting me or even responding at times.  It's a damn mess.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[babyducks]

hi Wolf2217



You have made a good first step in reaching out for support.   What you describe sounds overwhelming.   There are tools and skills here that can help you.  The information on this site can begin to unravel some of the confusion you are feeling.

This link will help describe BPD:

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Would you like to tell us a little more?   What would you like to see happening in your relationship?

'ducks

[walbsy7]

There is not to much information there to really understand if she has BPD traits or not. The hot/cold thing is definitely one, but their is much more complex notions that generally lead to that conclusion, and alot has to do with her history growing up, and her fears, actions, etc.

[SweetCharlotte]

I wouldn't run away simply because she may have BPD. I have a good r/s with my H, who is uBPD with healthy stretches.

However, her not being single is another thing.

I'm not judging, but it would be so much better for you to step back and wait until you are both single. Yes, for that you will have to do without the hot-A sex with her.

Are you done with your wife and marriage? Maybe it would be best to focus on resolving that.