It may sound strange but I think by having to interact I have become less sensitive to triggers. For some who go no contact I believe that you don't have a chance to deal with the feelings so run the risk of getting triggered out of the blue. When this happens it can be quite intense.
I agree with enlighten me, dropping the NC barrier takes pressure off. Its sounds likes you are far enough out that it should be possible. End the cold war.
But how do you do this, wisely?
For sure, don't open the door when you are emotionally triggered - you don't want to expose vulnerability or look to your ex for healing or resolving unfinished business. That will just make matter worse for both of you.
The holidays are coming up - maybe text her "have a nice thanksgiving" in November and send her a card at Christmas. Maybe in February share some benign news (don't expect a response) -
"I just ran a a 5k".
She may respond then or eventually. You are just planting a seed of detachment. You are letting go.
The important thing is to separate your emotions and your healing from contact with her. You need to deal with that in a safe place, like here.
