Even inanimate objects are painted black

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Inanimate f/u from another post... .Lost Ghost asked if friends are possibly recycled too and I responded absolutely, even inanimate objects are blackened too!

Just some examples: I bought her a Samsung cell phone and when the phone dropped a call she claimed that the phone sucked. I bought her an IPad, when the IPad wirelessly didn't connect it sucked too... .and so did the Fios service that I suggested... .

When she was in need of a place to live, leaving her marital home, I found a 2 acre rental property that was on a creek that a friend of mine rented to her for 1200 per month, normally 3200. It sucked too; too humid in the summer too cold in the winter. I know now that she was projecting some contempt onto these objects to indirectly diminish there importance and mine as well.

This part is very interesting; her children; D13, S9 would agree with her and would chime in with the same exclaims! Samsung suck, Fios sucks, this house sucks too!

I know they were parroting her not to be painted black, needed to stay on her good side, they were walking the line, showing their allegiance to her ... .I felt so badly for her children, I was possibly watching future borderlines developing.

Have others experienced been painted black through inanimate objects? Looking back this was the start of something bigger coming down the road, the exclamation that I sucked too!

[Should I stay or...]

Inanimate f/u from another post... .Lost Ghost asked if friends are possibly recycled too and I responded absolutely, even inanimate objects are blackened too!

Just some examples: I bought her a Samsung cell phone and when the phone dropped a call she claimed that the phone sucked. I bought her an IPad, when the IPad wirelessly didn't connect it sucked too... .and so did the Fios service that I suggested... .

When she was in need of a place to live, leaving her marital home, I found a 2 acre rental property that was on a creek that a friend of mine rented to her for 1200 per month, normally 3200. It sucked too; too humid in the summer too cold in the winter. I know now that she was projecting some contempt onto these objects to indirectly diminish there importance and mine as well.

This part is very interesting; her children; D13, S9 would agree with her and would chime in with the same exclaims! Samsung suck, Fios sucks, this house sucks too!

I know they were parroting her not to be painted black, needed to stay on her good side, they were walking the line, showing their allegiance to her ... .I felt so badly for her children, I was possibly watching future borderlines developing.

Have others experienced been painted black through inanimate objects? Looking back this was the start of something bigger coming down the road, the exclamation that I sucked too!

[enlighten me]

Mine did this as well but it was never with anything she had bought. She couldn't criticise her decisions as it meant that she was capable of making mistakes and she couldn't have that. The house I bought because it was the one she wanted was painted black and I was blamed for buying the wrong place. The car that she chose that I bought was wrong and I hadn't done my research properly. My kitchen knives weren't sharp enough, my pots and pans where too heavy or not big enough, peoples presents weren't what she would have chosen etc etc etc.

I also found things that she had broken things that she put down to accidents or the wind. A gate kicked off its hinges, cabinet doors ripped off the list goes on. All appear to have happened in anger and I can imagine her doing it as the door didn't stay open or the gate was preventing her carrying things through.

[Mr Hollande]

I had the entire music genre I'm part of written off at one point. 

[hergestridge]

Boy does that sound familiar. Endless complaints about cars, the house and various kitchen utensils. The stupid thing was the *seriousness* of it all. One moment she was not materialist at all and I was an a**hole for thinking too much about money and possessions, then all of a sudden our life together was a failure because our car sucked. ^

Once she was talked into admitting the stupidity of statements like that, she simply switched to another variation on the same theme:

"Why is that I can never complain about stuff? It's unfair!". She would remain silent for three weeks and then exploding... .about the car... .again.

[Should I stay or...]

... .you all just reminded me of an event that happened at the house that I had spoken of previously... .

I came over for dinner one evening and had parked my car in her driveway, like I had done thousands of times before. Her car was parked in the garage of the house.

After dinner she had to run out to pick up her daughter from a ballet event so her son and I piled into her car, she was behind the wheel. She backs out of the garage in hast and nails my car with a thud into it's rear bumper... .

Do I dare say something normal like, wow, you just hit my car with yours? I don't, I hold my tongue not wanting to ruin the evening, but what she said to me was ridicules. Why the hell did you park your car there, it was in my way, this sucks!

My car was to blame and so was I for a moving violation and, I wasn't even moving and to top it off I was a witness to the accident that she said I caused while sitting in her car.

In the morning her son tells his sister what had happened and she runs outside the house to see the damage, my rear bumper looked like a smiley face  !

This was the epitome of being blamed for something wrongly; animate and inanimate!

In a court of law this would be totally her fault. She was nailed!

[GreenEyedMonster]

Yes, I've seen this too.

His Internet SP sucked because his internet was going out.  Rants posted on FB.  Then he found out the problem was his router.  But still switched ISPs.  And left the rants on FB.

He painted my cat black upon meeting him because he didn't act all cuddly at first sniff.  (Maybe the cat knew something I didn't.)

He called lots of things "stupid" in a very uncompromising way -- HGTV, listening to music to lift a bad mood, etc.  I never saw an inanimate object painted black, per se, but companies, animals, and opinions were certainly fair game if they didn't stroke his ego.

[shatra]

Yes, I've seen them paint a store all black, then white, and then be very upset when the store closes (it "abandoned" the BPD)... .very common with cars, guitars, even towns (I hate it here, it's all bad and I'm leaving... .then leave town, then miss town It was so great there, I never should have left)

  So they split, and they also do the push=pull with objects (I'm cancelling that phone, then switch back, then push it away and cancel, etc.)

   They also focus on 'transitional objects"-----they keep a letter from us to remind them of us after they leave us... .they keep a sign from the store to remind them of the store after it closes and "abandons' them

[SummerStorm]

Mine has had three different phones just this year.

She hated my cats because they were "boring" and ran from her.  Well, first of all, my parents and I rarely have people over to the house, so she was maybe the third person they had seen in like two years, besides us.  They are cats, not golden retrievers.  New people freak them out.  Also, most of my cats are older, so they prefer to just chill.

She went back and forth between loving her rabbit and complaining about how loud and annoying it was.  In August, she broke up with the guy she'd been living with since the end of April.  A month later, she still hadn't gotten her rabbit from his place, so he ended up giving it away to someone.  I asked him what she said when he told her he was giving it away, and he said, "Basically nothing." 

She hates grocery stores and grocery shopping.  Grocery stores are always painted black. 

[KaishaMikasa]

I could write for hours on this but the car story really hits home.  My son is 16 and usually parks in the street but my wife asked him to move it for the mowers to get the edge of the yard better.  He parked at the end of the driveway on my side not hers.  We were going to borrow my fathers truck to pick up a table she had bought.  She was in a rage about something I can't recall.  She jumps in her car does look behind her or at her backing camera and runs into my sons car.  She runs in the house crying saying she hit his car and now her budget for buying is now going to a wreck!  She leaves to get cash and while gone texts my son and tells him it is his fault and that he is never to park his GD car in the driveway again.  I tell him his car will get fixed asap.  We go to get the truck from my parents and she paints them black as well.  Once we start home with the table I tell her she is going apologize to our son for wrecking into his prized possession.  At first she refuses then when we get home she calls upstairs to him and said she was sorry but that" he didn't understand what it is like to be an adult that has to save money for something you want then have it taken away".  I took her outside and told her that was not an apology as it was all about her.  She said well that is all he gets.  Now she fixed both cars and paid out of pocket to spare insurance rates but everything was painted black for months.