i keep having similar experiences and am really questioning my mental health

[what65]

Seperated from ex dBp, scitzophenic, BPD, npd ptr for 13weeks nc 5 weeks other than a few drunken abusive texts. The last 12mths of a 3yr relationship was extremely abusive with her raging most days fully triggered by everything id say. I kept absorbing the abuse hoping things may stabilise. She tried to have me arrested numerous times finally succeeding when she had created a dv situation destroying our home to support her story, i was arrested and charged. That broke it for me and i asked her to leave. She continues to abuse me to today.

Since being seperated ive been out to dinner with friends a couple of times but i keep seeing signs of BPD in others. Last night it was like being back with my ex, after a few drinks the female i was talking too stated that she had been in an abusive relationship and when i tried to empathise she became agressive and abused me stating how would i know what its like to be abused. I was stunned and decided to leave, she followed me abusing me as i left it was like being back with my ex again, feeling humiliated and powerless. I'm having massive flashbacks and find myself sliding down today

Now i DON'T know if im going crazy but it seems every time i try and speak to a female im seeing signs of BPD. AM I MAD?

[Schermarhorn]

Seperated from ex dBp, scitzophenic, BPD, npd ptr for 13weeks nc 5 weeks other than a few drunken abusive texts. The last 12mths of a 3yr relationship was extremely abusive with her raging most days fully triggered by everything id say. I kept absorbing the abuse hoping things may stabilise. She tried to have me arrested numerous times finally succeeding when she had created a dv situation destroying our home to support her story, i was arrested and charged. That broke it for me and i asked her to leave. She continues to abuse me to today.

Since being seperated ive been out to dinner with friends a couple of times but i keep seeing signs of BPD in others. Last night it was like being back with my ex, after a few drinks the female i was talking too stated that she had been in an abusive relationship and when i tried to empathise she became agressive and abused me stating how would i know what its like to be abused. I was stunned and decided to leave, she followed me abusing me as i left it was like being back with my ex again, feeling humiliated and powerless. I'm having massive flashbacks and find myself sliding down today

Now i DON'T know if im going crazy but it seems every time i try and speak to a female im seeing signs of BPD. AM I MAD?

BPD isn't a cery rare condition. It could just be possible you are running into girls that have symptoms from it. Think of the bright side, you are noticing these red flags and you are protecting yourself. Good job 


Where are you meeting these girls at? Try meeting girls at a different venue.

[Didntdeservethat]

Thank you for your kind words. The meetings have both been in a restuarant. I just feel like im attracting BPDr.Relationships

[Turkish]

You've been through a tramatic experience, and it sounds like it's not entirely over. It's natural to be hyoer-aware of behaviors which remind us of our relationships. Given the recent focus on DV against women, the fact of DV against men has been stiffled even more than it used to be. Erin Pivey real ed the back in the '70s, and she was run out of England for daring to vice that women could be violent, too. There are some things in this discussion which you may find enlightening:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=240171.msg12556759#msg12556759

[Michelle27]

This may or may not apply to you, so take it with a grain of salt, but after 2 abusive marriages, I had to dig deep to figure out what exactly it was that caused me to end up in not one but 2.  I realized a lot of things about myself that I needed to work on, and it's my goal to work on those things while I heal. I don't blame myself but I now understand how and why it happened and in order for me to ensure I don't ever end up in the same place, I need to fix those parts of me that allowed me to stay involved in unhealthy relationships.

[what65]

Thank you michelle i truly wish you well in your healing and future. Your point is taken however prior to this i have never been in an abusive relationships i guess this is why i handled it so poorly i couldn't see what was coming.  I lived dellusionally, mostly in shock at the harmful things that she could do do to me without remorse. I will always remember the final event when she invented this dv situation and called the police, whilst i was being charged with the dvo i pleaded with her to tell the police the truth, phycotically she stated infront of the police you do the crime you do the time, i never ever touched her. She has since gone back to her old party crowd telling everyone horrific things about me and us ranging from control to even rape. I am very traumatised by all of this and can't understand why she must destroy invalidate any trace of our three years together

[enlighten me]

I realised that I was drawn to these women. Its not that I want to get involved with someone who has a disorder its just that to me they stand out from the crowd. It could be that as Im shy then they do a lot of the work or are easy to talk to. It could be something about how confident they appear. I don't really know. What I do know is that for me they used to stand out in a way that interested me. Now they stand out like a light house warning of danger.