Good to have a place where people understand

[todayistheday]

My Mom goes back and forth between low function and high function  uBPD.  Lately, she is low-function.

I tell people I know the things that she does and they just don't get it. They only understand that it doesn't make any sense and try to analyze and make sense of it.

I am so grateful of all of you here who understand that there is no sense to be made.

The latest is the Thanksgiving story I wrote on another thread.


Mom had knee surgery in September.  She doesn't take meds or do her therapy because she is smarter than the doctors, nurses, and therapists.

She claims she's still nauseous from the surgery.  Given her condition, we don't know if she is lying, imagining it, or it's real.  When sick or injured, she her BPD rages more out of control than other times.

The Thanksgiving fiasco:

Normally, Thanksgiving is at my house, Christmas is at my sister's. Sister has kids, I don't. 

Sister lives next door to Mom.  I live two hours away.  Mom cooks Christmas.

Sister doesn't cook much, just heats things up.  I love to cook

Since Mom says she can't travel, sister and I came up with a plan to have Thanksgiving at her house, with me still doing the cooking.

For most families, that would be nice and appreciated.  Mom, no, she hit the ceiling.  She was NOT going to go there if we have Thanksgiving next door at sisters.  We ARE to have it at my house and she will decide Thanksgiving day if she is coming or not.  Dad is ordered to be here, whether she comes or not.  She raged on Dad, even though this plan was made by sister and me. 

Most people who don't deal with people who are mentally different think I must have misunderstood or simply that it make no sense and they try to analyze.  While it makes no sense, nothing my Mom does in her rages is shocking.  I think all of you know what I mean.

I am so grateful to be able to tell the strange happenings in my family in a place where others can relate and not think I'm from Mars.

[Turkish]

Wow. That's unbelievably... weird. I didn't see this so much with my mom, since I moved away so long ago, but did with my uBPDx sometimes: that she'd dysregulate if the "script" in her head was altered. pwBPD often can't handle change...

Your family are stickng by your guns, no? Dinner at your sister's house seems like a good plan.

[todayistheday]

Your family are stickng by your guns, no? Dinner at your sister's house seems like a good plan.

No, we are doing it at my house. We are doing it at my house because that is the way WE do prefer to do it.  The only reason that were only moving it to make things better for her.  We prefer it at my house.  She does not appreciate it and said she'd boycott if we did, so we are doing it the way we prefer.

This way, I can do the prep on Wednesday, put the turkey in the oven Thursday morning, have breakfast and relax until the family gets to my house, like always.  The other way, I'd have to add the Turkey to the prep the day before, get up early and drive to sister's house and hit the ground running to cook the rest.  And my sister does not have to clean her house before or after.   It would not be a lot harder, it only took a few minutes to make the plan.  But the traditional way is easiest on everyone and... .after all... .traditional.  Mom may or may not come.  At this point, I don't care what she does unless she throws a fit while at my house.

[tenacity]

Good for you for doing it at your home and keeping up the tradition. I hope it goes well and you have a very nice Thanksgiving. Man, these pd'd parents... .it's all about control. My mom pulled the same stuff! You have a great attitude!