An Update

[juniorswailing]

My story is briefly documented on various other threads. Some of my own and some of other people's. I thought Id start my own to save taking over someone else's.

We split up last Sunday after a whirlwind 4 months and there has been no contact since. She unfriended me on FB but hasn't fully blocked me. My profile is open to the world.

Earlier this am I received a messenger request which was from her sending three messages clearly replying to something I'd put on FB about me having a lucky escape. I declined the request and then a text message with the screenshot of those messages came through, and I deleted it. I have not responded to either.

A couple of hours later I got another messenger request and a friend request and thought, what's she up to know.  Turns out it was not her but a female that (I thought) I have no knowledge of and I wondered what that was about. I declined the request and then looked at the message which was from the same female.

She apologised for getting in touch and asked if I'd been taken for a ride by my ex, like the rest of them. I did some digging about on her FB page and realised that this was an ex friend of my ex (bear with me) that she had mysteriously fallen out with and not explained why.

Basically my ex has fleeced a number of friends of both sexes with a pack of lies stretching back years. Some of the stories used on them are the same plausible ones she used on me although she didn't manage to fleece me.

She has, apparently taken hundreds off various friends and doesn't like to let any of her male exes go to far as she likes to return and get them to buy stuff from time to time.

I reckon that if she ever does come face to face with me the ensuing conversation will be completely different from those over the past few months when I was trying not to upset her!

[kyon147]

My story is briefly documented on various other threads. Some of my own and some of other people's. I thought Id start my own to save taking over someone else's.

We split up last Sunday after a whirlwind 4 months and there has been no contact since. She unfriended me on FB but hasn't fully blocked me. My profile is open to the world.

Earlier this am I received a messenger request which was from her sending three messages clearly replying to something I'd put on FB about me having a lucky escape. I declined the request and then a text message with the screenshot of those messages came through, and I deleted it. I have not responded to either.

A couple of hours later I got another messenger request and a friend request and thought, what's she up to know.  Turns out it was not her but a female that (I thought) I have no knowledge of and I wondered what that was about. I declined the request and then looked at the message which was from the same female.

She apologised for getting in touch and asked if I'd been taken for a ride by my ex, like the rest of them. I did some digging about on her FB page and realised that this was an ex friend of my ex (bear with me) that she had mysteriously fallen out with and not explained why.

Basically my ex has fleeced a number of friends of both sexes with a pack of lies stretching back years. Some of the stories used on them are the same plausible ones she used on me although she didn't manage to fleece me.

She has, apparently taken hundreds off various friends and doesn't like to let any of her male exes go to far as she likes to return and get them to buy stuff from time to time.

I reckon that if she ever does come face to face with me the ensuing conversation will be completely different from those over the past few months when I was trying not to upset her!

Does all sound tough man, but as you know my story. NC is the best way without a doutb. After breaking it last night for answers which I did get it still has reset all the past 12 days for me.

My exgf is now going to see her new guy this weekend (a friend of both of us told me) and that is it. She has her new toy so she can abandon me with fear of hers.

I am never contacting her again, I told her only is in an emergency would I reply. Other than that moving forward and going to find someone who cares properly.

I pray you do the same and if you need support I am here for you man.

[juniorswailing]

NC is the only way. It just takes a wee while to realise it.

I have no intention of speaking to her unless it's an emergency and I can't see where that is going to come from to be honest.

I really think I'll be okay. I wasn't phased by her contact today as I knew it could come along at some point and I knew what to do.

Likewise I'll chip in on your threads if I think you are weakening!   

[zundertowz]

The last thing you wanna do is start digging into the past or trying to find out what the ex is doing now, 9 times out of 10 you will be disgusted.  A friend told me that my ex broke up a marriage shortly after we broke while this guys wife was pregnant... .classy!  I think if a lot of us even knew half of what our exes did in the past we would have ran.  Just block everybody.

[Little oak]

Oh man I thought it was just me experiencing this,mine slated friends behind their backs and said some truly awful things about her ex,eg accusing him of rape then after we separated it seems to all be forgotten. I think they keep friends apart and move around in different circles to avoid being confronted and called out on their lies,after all you can only spin so many plates for so long before they come crashing down

[zundertowz]

Oh man I thought it was just me experiencing this,mine slated friends behind their backs and said some truly awful things about her ex,eg accusing him of rape then after we separated it seems to all be forgotten. I think they keep friends apart and move around in different circles to avoid being confronted and called out on their lies,after all you can only spin so many plates for so long before they come crashing down

I think that is so true, my ex kept her friends separated.  She had a few long term friends who were more like acquaintances and these people swore by her.  She has been banished out of a few circles but she was very charming and pretty so was able to keep a lot of people at arms length and play the victim.  She had no shortage of supply or finding new people to hang around with.  What kinda pisses me off is she treated people and thought better about people who really could care less about her.  The replacement has no clue what she is and I'm not sure weather I''m pissed or just pity them... .especially him.  My exs pattern is 3-5 year relationships when she identifies a bf so I'm not sitting around waiting for it to self destruct.

[juniorswailing]

I been chatting to this ex friend of hers all day.

My God its worse than you'd imagine.

Hey ho,  I don't care anymore.

[zundertowz]

I been chatting to this ex friend of hers all day.

My God its worse than you'd imagine.

Hey ho,  I don't care anymore.

LOL There's nothing that would surprise me with these people, they have NO boundaries!

[Little oak]

I pity the replacement,the ones who are ignorant and blind just as we were to what will inevitably lie ahead. I experienced the same treatment my ex gave the guy before me,all be it in a shorter period of time,I don't think I've been replaced as of yet as it would appear she has got a reputation for being wild,her close friends she discarded and any others are just aquaintants.She tried to torment me by bringing her ex into my work place until I told her I felt sorry for him that he had no idea what she had said,she hasn't bought him in since,I think telling people what's been said about them only pulls us back in and delays our healing

[zundertowz]

I pity the replacement,the ones who are ignorant and blind just as we were to what will inevitably lie ahead. I experienced the same treatment my ex gave the guy before me,all be it in a shorter period of time,I don't think I've been replaced as of yet as it would appear she has got a reputation for being wild,her close friends she discarded and any others are just aquaintants.She tried to torment me by bringing her ex into my work place until I told her I felt sorry for him that he had no idea what she had said,she hasn't bought him in since,I think telling people what's been said about them only pulls us back in and delays our healing

My ex took a few months to find a replacement, she doesn't attach onto anyone, her MO is hanging out in bars and sleeping with random guys than ghosting them until she finds a suitable replacement.  Your right I think knowing about what the ex is doing is definitely delaying my healing process,  It's such a odd feeling not caring she's with someone else but just feeling angry at her for enjoying her life more than I am.