Let's be realistic

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I've been sad a while now, reading these posts help me. I can relate to a lot of the heart ache. But let's be realistic! Borderline relationships are toxic on many levels! It's not just the devalue and discard at the end that leave us hurting, it's realizing after being left or cheated on the entire relationship . That the majority of it sucks! And none of it was normal! I had great times with my ex! 5 major vacations, tons of weekend and over night getaways! We did everything together! Even staying home watching TV was fun. We laughed everyday and were very affectionate and loving towards one another. But there was that dark side where no matter how good the day was, he'd find something to make us fight! He would bait me about my family, or gas light, project, circular arguements were common each time we fought. It was so draining and exhausting. He would talk down to me cursing horrible names telling me I was stupid. I never would talk to him that way.  It was always where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do. My needs were never a factor when planning something fun to do. I'm sure many can relate in some way, so what are we missing! We have to learn that being alone is ok. It's better than being in the company of someone who doesn't really care about you as a person, or respects you and truly loves you as you are, but they expect you to love them as they are. None of these relationships are healthy or balanced . Real love is never like this! Love is patient, Love is Kind, I think you can look up the rest of Saint Pauls epistle on Love. 

[Itstopsnow]

I've been sad a while now, reading these posts help me. I can relate to a lot of the heart ache. But let's be realistic! Borderline relationships are toxic on many levels! It's not just the devalue and discard at the end that leave us hurting, it's realizing after being left or cheated on the entire relationship . That the majority of it sucks! And none of it was normal! I had great times with my ex! 5 major vacations, tons of weekend and over night getaways! We did everything together! Even staying home watching TV was fun. We laughed everyday and were very affectionate and loving towards one another. But there was that dark side where no matter how good the day was, he'd find something to make us fight! He would bait me about my family, or gas light, project, circular arguements were common each time we fought. It was so draining and exhausting. He would talk down to me cursing horrible names telling me I was stupid. I never would talk to him that way.  It was always where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do. My needs were never a factor when planning something fun to do. I'm sure many can relate in some way, so what are we missing! We have to learn that being alone is ok. It's better than being in the company of someone who doesn't really care about you as a person, or respects you and truly loves you as you are, but they expect you to love them as they are. None of these relationships are healthy or balanced . Real love is never like this! Love is patient, Love is Kind, I think you can look up the rest of Saint Pauls epistle on Love. 

[Beacher]

Amen sister!

[letmeout]

My needs were never a factor

That summed it up pretty well.

[juniorswailing]

My needs were never a factor

That summed it up pretty well.

Yip

[NoNoNo]

could not have said it better!

[Moorwen]

So true, yet i always wondered how come we don't find people we would like to have in our lives, who can give the same as we can? I see here many great people who got broken (me included) over loving someone who treated them horribly. Yes, love is all that, yet i still wait to find person who can love me at least close as much as i can. Perhaps in new year, ... .

[Itstopsnow]

We just have to not settle for less. And the moment we see red flags, especially disrespectful behavior we have to let go! If someone is verbally disrespectful than why would they treat you respectful in other ways. That should of been my motto. As I miss him today and daily still, I see how it was never a great relationship unless we were traveling spending money, living in a fantasy world.