Job stability

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Ok, I have a couple of questions. Do borderlines keep long term jobs? What goes wrong when they don't. My ex I as mentioned . Went into the priesthood at 21 and did great academically. He got to study in Rome 5 years which is considered an honor. Obviously the experience made no internal impact on his soul, he was sleeping with women during his years as a priest I found out. I'm pretty sure they asked him to leave. I was his first real relationship since college. Beside his random hook ups as a priest. He went through 3 more jobs in that 18 months. He had a masters but was always choosing jobs that were either below his qualifications or ones he couldn't handle. He's a substitute teacher now for K to 5th in an inner city school district. And he screams at those poor kids. He told me as he was screaming at me, that he has to scream at me like he does the kids to get his point across. I told him he shouldn't scream at those poor kids. He said everyone does. I hope he doesn't last there! I wish schools did a pyschological background check. I hope they don't stay too long at any job. I think now hindsight that he must take off work often (in the past anyway) bc used to date behind my back that way. I also heard they can do well when pressure is low, but when they are stressed they can't handle it and act out or have outbursts. I think with me outing him to his last gf and losing me as well could be a stressful situation for him. I'm hoping they let him go for the kids sake . 

[Itstopsnow]

Ok, I have a couple of questions. Do borderlines keep long term jobs? What goes wrong when they don't. My ex I as mentioned . Went into the priesthood at 21 and did great academically. He got to study in Rome 5 years which is considered an honor. Obviously the experience made no internal impact on his soul, he was sleeping with women during his years as a priest I found out. I'm pretty sure they asked him to leave. I was his first real relationship since college. Beside his random hook ups as a priest. He went through 3 more jobs in that 18 months. He had a masters but was always choosing jobs that were either below his qualifications or ones he couldn't handle. He's a substitute teacher now for K to 5th in an inner city school district. And he screams at those poor kids. He told me as he was screaming at me, that he has to scream at me like he does the kids to get his point across. I told him he shouldn't scream at those poor kids. He said everyone does. I hope he doesn't last there! I wish schools did a pyschological background check. I hope they don't stay too long at any job. I think now hindsight that he must take off work often (in the past anyway) bc used to date behind my back that way. I also heard they can do well when pressure is low, but when they are stressed they can't handle it and act out or have outbursts. I think with me outing him to his last gf and losing me as well could be a stressful situation for him. I'm hoping they let him go for the kids sake . 

[butterfly15]

Ok, I have a couple of questions. Do borderlines keep long term jobs? What goes wrong when they don't. My ex I as mentioned . Went into the priesthood at 21 and did great academically. He got to study in Rome 5 years which is considered an honor. Obviously the experience made no internal impact on his soul, he was sleeping with women during his years as a priest I found out. I'm pretty sure they asked him to leave. I was his first real relationship since college. Beside his random hook ups as a priest. He went through 3 more jobs in that 18 months. He had a masters but was always choosing jobs that were either below his qualifications or ones he couldn't handle. He's a substitute teacher now for K to 5th in an inner city school district. And he screams at those poor kids. He told me as he was screaming at me, that he has to scream at me like he does the kids to get his point across. I told him he shouldn't scream at those poor kids. He said everyone does. I hope he doesn't last there! I wish schools did a pyschological background check. I hope they don't stay too long at any job. I think now hindsight that he must take off work often (in the past anyway) bc used to date behind my back that way. I also heard they can do well when pressure is low, but when they are stressed they can't handle it and act out or have outbursts. I think with me outing him to his last gf and losing me as well could be a stressful situation for him. I'm hoping they let him go for the kids sake . 

I'm not exactly sure as I am freshly out of a r/s as well. However, my ex has been with the same company for over 20 years. He has worked his way up to the top very well. He's a boyscout at work. Just when he leaves his alter ego kicks into high gear.

[FannyB]

Hi

My ex has a fragmented job history. A new job is like a new relationship to her. She applies full of positivity - then her BPD takes over. She will analyse and dissect the training, the bosses, her co-workers, the environment etc. If anything transpires that she doesn't like she will slowly paint the job black until she has to leave. I think she is hyper-vigilant about potential stressors & triggers - and what job doesn't bring a degree of stress with it? 


Fanny

[JSF13]

My ex has been with her company for 10 yrs. She recently was put on Final progressive guidance though. Just like everything else in her life she is not at fault and a victim. I'm not quite sure who's really at fault there as many other employees are having issues as well but her behavior was beginning to show. As soon as the issues began she got a lawyer and is now going to attempt to sue the corporation. Most all her co workers began having issues with her. She has been out on disability for months now but go figure this is her 3rd or 4th "Hardship transfer". Every time something goes wrong she runs away and starts over. I always said to her that no matter where she ran she took herself with her. In this case she very much is milking the mental illness card but when having to be held accountable for all the other things she has done its always everyone else.

[OutOfEgypt]

It really depends.  I've heard that some BPD's can be more "high functioning," but I know for my ex that she never finishes anything she starts.  Now is the third time in 15 years that she's decided to go back to college.  We try to be encouraging (or at least not discouraging), but in the back of my mind I know she'll find a reason why she has to quit.  She won't stick with it.  Last time it was because I "depressed her" when I told her I was done with the relationship and that she had to leave.

She has a new job, but she recently left her last position because the two other women she worked with were "too much drama."  I chuckled a bit when I heard that one.  But this is nothing abnormal for her.  She has a long track-record of this type of thing.  I saw it from the very beginning.  She was capable of doing a good job, but eventually something had to give.  Didn't like the pay or wasn't sure it was what she wanted for a career.  Couldn't get along with the other women who were "too much drama" or "too mean" to her.  Always something.

Of course, the bad news for me, as her ex-husband, is that she is going to perpetually be trying to milk more money out of me. 

[AsGoodAsItGets]

This is not about jobs or BPD, look at what you filling your thoughts with, never heard a mind's a beautiful thing to waste, you get one life, live it with as much love and imagination possible.  What you wrote makes me want to over my shoulder.  Anyone could be harboring vengeance.  Let it go... for what its worth, the ex had 7 jobs in a two and a half period.  Good luck

[AsGoodAsItGets]

Just read what I wrote.  My writing is terrible. 

[Nextinline]

Hi

My ex has a fragmented job history. A new job is like a new relationship to her. She applies full of positivity - then her BPD takes over. She will analyse and dissect the training, the bosses, her co-workers, the environment etc. If anything transpires that she doesn't like she will slowly paint the job black until she has to leave. I think she is hyper-vigilant about potential stressors & triggers - and what job doesn't bring a degree of stress with it?  


Fanny

My ex to a T, FBG.

In fact the only job that she ever had where she was not working for a family member was only achieved after I created a CV for her and coached her on how to manage and respond in an interview. Using her personality and good looks, she went for 5 interviews and was offered all 5 roles.

She had a great job that she kept for 20 months and left because she was not coping with the stress of actually being responsible for other people and having to manage and deliver on other peoples expectations.

So in her latest role, she was again working for another family member and, the last time we had contact, she was getting annoyed and frustrated with the people and the work. So I figure that one is ticking down to an exit as well.

Her career ambition is to be a kept woman. Too much time watching "The Real Housewives of... ." on TV me thinks!