I keep wondering was it all a lie. Does she ever have remorse or wonder about me. Or does she ever regret leaving or have second thoughts. It doesn't seem like it.
Sigh. I just need to get over her. Why is it so tough.
Four months out and I am still wondering and asking myself the same questions.
I think all of us that's been through this always will always feel we have unresolved questions and wonder what really happened, what our exBPD was feeling and thinking.
They don't give any closure as they need to keep their options open and hate to admit any failure or responsibility.
It would be so much easier if they said something, anything. If they said they felt they loved you at first but don't feel that way anymore and don't see you in their future, sure it will hurt but we can then know it's over and have closure. Even if they said it was all a lie and they were just using you we can get over that too.
I just keep telling myself it's their mental illness and it will never make sense. Hopefully this will eventually help me find peace but I still wonder what they're feeling. There can never be a rationale reason for them to show so much love one day, and the next dump you with no apparent remorse or pain. Any explanations you get are to keep you hanging, like they need more time, they need time apart, they were feeling trapped. And then they may also say they love you too.
I noticed some people here just think of them as calculating evil people and I guess thats one way to get over them.