The thing with being a scientist and looking for patterns is we expect the patterns to follow a logical progression. The thing with mental illness is the logic and the reality is often distorted. If not missing all together. My partner is also bipolar in addition to BPD. When she is having a difficult day she will often project onto me. The best thing I can do is not to engage in those discussion. There is nothing down that road for me.
So true. The T reminded me from just meeting me for the first time that I OVER-analyze crazy things that will never fit a logical model. I have a history of this because it is so hard for me to own the fact that there is not a 'code' or 'formula' with people; especially ones with PD. The more I peruse these boards, the more I realize my mom is the OG of BPD. I hate Freudian things!
It pisses off my ego that I may have to pick that scab from childhood to fix my "Picker" (another term he used that has been said to me over the years). I thought I had worked through these things but each experience shows me new things I was not ready to see before.
I just want to BE and not till the dirt of my psyche but I know it is necessary.
All of my girlfriends have descended on me over the last 2 days! It's almost magical because it was like they just KNEW to reach out. I am so grateful.
I have more compassion for my BPDex now than when he was representing HOPE. Hope is a very terrible thing, when you think about it.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creating-in-flow/201303/can-hope-be-bad"Pursuing the Good Life: 100 Reflections on Positive Psychology was authored by Christopher Peterson, who was one of the founders of the field of positive psychology. Peterson, who was a fellow blogger here, died unexpectedly at age 62 before this compilation of his blog posts came out.
One of his "100 Reflections" is entitled "Good Hope and Bad Hope." Does hope, which Peterson equated with optimism, "prolong whatever torments us," as Nietzsche wrote? Depends, he wrote. If you hope for what cannot possibly happen, that's just stupid (his word). He wrote:
But hoping for things that can happen is smart (good), assuming we are motivated by our optimism to act in ways that make the hoped-for thing more likely."
Evidence and observable action is what I neglected.