Adult BPDD Insists GD Dress Like a Nun

[mom2bpd]

My BPDD is driving me and my GD8 crazy concerning the way she dresses.  She acts like I should buy most of her clothes, and just requested last week that I buy her some more leggings like I had previously bought.  So I bought some more and then she insists today suddenly that she has nothing to wear with them.  What was she wearing with the other leggings before I bought another pair?  BPDD is being obsessive right now about how GD8 dresses and I'm thinking this is probably due to her not having a man in her life to totally distract her right now.  Normally her focus is on some man and not her daughter.  She herself wears tight jeans and doesn't wear long shirts with them, and in the summer will wear a teeny weeny bikini and insist that GD wear a full swimsuit.  She drives everyone crazy with her silliness over clothing and GD is so skinny that most clothing will not fit her except leggings.  They don't even sell the clothing my daughter would prefer she wears.  How do you other parents and grandparents approach this topic?  She's driving me crazy asking me to buy clothing that doesn't exist in the US and making up ridiculous rules for how GD8 should dress.  What happens when she's a teenager?  Lord help me!   

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

BPDD is being obsessive right now about how GD8 dresses and I'm thinking this is probably due to her not having a man in her life to totally distract her right now.  Normally her focus is on some man and not her daughter. 

You know, that could pretty much be the problem, mom2BPD... .How likely is your daughter to become involved with another guy in the near future?    That would at least make things more bearable for you and your granddaughter 

I don't mean to make light of your situation, though... .I realize how crazy-making her behavior is to you. When our loved ones with BPD get on a "kick" about something that makes no sense to us at all, it really can be stressful. I truly hope that you can iron this out soon 

[mom2bpd]

Thanks Rapt Reader. I know this is not a huge issue compared to other issues she has caused. This must have been a stressful day for her because she later tried texting me from GDs phone pretending to beg for a certain gift her mother thinks we should buy her for Xmas!  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for all of us but especially her. I think she's trying to convince herself she is better off without a man for now because her last long relationship turned out really bad. I don't see her waiting long before jumping back into some kind of relationship myself which could be good or bad for all of us!