Do they really try their best to tether on to us?

[Joem678]

Ok, so I read somewhere where they leave things or take things for tethered attachment.  My upwBPDwife left in July.  She took all her clothes, all our family pictures (portrait and vacation) and our wedding pictures.  My kids confusingly commented to me that she put our wedding photos out for display in her bedroom at her mom's house.  When I went LC and told her basically, "take care", one of her skirts "appeared" in our walk-in closet two days after telling her.  I was drawn by the scent of perfume in to the closet.  My kids confirmed my sanity and acknowledged that the skirt was not there.  (It was a period of 6 weeks from when she left and the skirt reappearing).

Do they feel the crisis upon them?  It seems though she was aware of what she was going to go through.

[burritoman]

Ok, so I read somewhere where they leave things or take things for tethered attachment.  My upwBPDwife left in July.  She took all her clothes, all our family pictures (portrait and vacation) and our wedding pictures.  My kids confusingly commented to me that she put our wedding photos out for display in her bedroom at her mom's house.  When I went LC and told her basically, "take care", one of her skirts "appeared" in our walk-in closet two days after telling her.  I was drawn by the scent of perfume in to the closet.  My kids confirmed my sanity and acknowledged that the skirt was not there.  (It was a period of 6 weeks from when she left and the skirt reappearing).

Do they feel the crisis upon them?  It seems though she was aware of what she was going to go through.

I have a friend who detached from a BPD girl after 7 years. He said she would always leave little things behind. They've been broken up for over 5 years, he's since gotten married, and she still chases him... .

[focus]

The ex wife packed my personal belongings after I went NC and had filed for a divorce (I caught her cheating, and went to a friend for a few days to calm down and give us space, the replacement moved in the same day I went out, without my knowledge, once I found out I went strict no contact and filed for a divorce).

A friend of mine collected the few personal items she had packed. In one of the boxes she left our wedding photo, the photo had been placed there by her, I'm guessing so I wouldn't forget about her.

In the computer, she had created a folder that she put stuff on to copy.

This folder contained all of our photos, including from the wedding. Music I liked, stuff I had written, a lot of my personal stuff and music she listens to when she is sad. And a lot of our stuff as well as my own stuff, stories I had written and stuff.

It felt like she was creating a memory bank she can go through when she feels bad and misses me.

She did on a regular basis play music that her grandmother liked, went through photo collection of her grandparents and read old articles about her grandfather when he was a professional athlete and cried.

So yeah, it felt she was creating a memory bank.

Another two little things she always did.

If somebody she knew was going abroad, she would ask the person would buy something small for her, like a lollypop.

She got super happy when she recived a gift, because it ment somebody saw something and thought of her.

Everytime the clock was something like 2:22, 12:34, 4:56, 5:43, whatever with numbers on a digital clock she would point to it and tell the time. Then say, now, everytime the numbers match you will think of me.

I think she is affraid about being forgotten.

[burritoman]

On the flip side then, how do they feel when you tell them they need to come clear out their things?

[juniorswailing]

Mine left a bizarre collection of things at various places in my house.

Sex toys, a food blender, her grandson's jacket and baby walker, hair products are all that I've found so far.

Her daughter contacted me about a week after we split to ask for the baby things and after I said feel free to come and get them any time I've not heard any more.

[Joem678]

She's been back to the house but I am not there.  She wants me to be there but I don't answer her texts or calls.  She wants to "divide up" the belongings.  Before I went NC, I texted her "I can't keep you out of the house, it is legally yours, take what you want"  But when she got there and noticed I was gone she was begging me to go talk to her "about what she can take". 

She took pictures and stuff.  But, she left the %#$!^# skirt!