My pwBPD is in denial that the r/s is over

[lippsservice]

So, we were together for almost five years and he's repeatedly cheated on me, lied to me, and lashes out at me and I told him Tuesday that it was done and over with after I found out he had had another affair these past two months. We live in the same condo and I can't legally kick him out. I'm not making a whole lot of money right now to just pick up and move. He refuses to let me be and wants me to go to counseling with him and help him, but he has said all of this before and I'm finally down. I had a bad mental breakdown last night and because he was there he thinks we're okay now. He keeps calling me babe and stuff like that. At first I said I would help him with counseling because he really needs help but now I've been reading around and it's another manipulation tool. I can't do this anymore. He's threatened my job, my place to live and even our dogs. I need help, please. I don't want him here, I want him to just leave and be gone. What can I do? I've just got done battling cancer and stage IV endometriosis and I'm weak.

[Mutt]

Hi lippsservice,



I'm sorry to hear that. I understand how emotionally exhausting a relationship with a person with BPD is ( pwBPD ) and you just finished battling cancer and stage IV endometrisois  too hug -2

I think that couples counseling helps improve relationships but you both have to want to work on your own stuff and somebody else can't do that for you. I get the impression that he wants you to help him, a pwBPD have abandonment / dependency issues.

What happened last night?

[lovenature]

Did you both purchase the condo and share the fees equally? Could you stay there on your own, or possibly a cheaper apartment for a while?

You have been through a lot dealing with cancer, be proud of yourself-especially considering your circumstances with your partner! A pwBPD is not capable of empathy; look after yourself as best as you can, do you have any family or friends to help you through this time in your life?