New face of my ex

[Pablo826]

Hey couple days ago my friend asked me do I still see my ex from time to time (we live like 6km from each other) because he was speaking about her posts on Facebook and all her photos. I did checked it and it did pain,  she looks so happy like a way different person,  lot of parties with lot of people and lot of posts about how different she is from the rest of the society. When we were toghether she always was feeling bad about herself that she do not have anyway friends,  indeed I never met her friends... .It was always weird for me because I am living in her country (I am a Forester) and I couldn't understand how you can not have any friends in the place where you live for 25 years. Now you see the "change" on social I had the feeling that she want to let me See what I lost and that she was alone because of me. Strange but it felt this way is this some kind of mind play?  Or is it possible that she changed and is normal?

[hopealways]

She has not changed, this is common for BPD. They present an outward mask to hide their inner emptiness, which is exactly what she did to you in the idealization phase.

[Mutt]

Hi Pablo826,



I understand. I recall friends and family would ask me about my ex shortly after the break-up when things were raw and just talking about her brought a lot of painful memories. I think that they couldn't empathize with how difficult these relationship break-ups are or maybe they didn't know better. I set a boundary with the family members and friends that did ask so that it would speed up my recovery and asked them to respect my wishes and not pass on any news about her for a little while.

[Teereese]

 Pablo826

I had to do the same as Mutt ... .set boundaries and ask family to not ask or talk about my stbxh.

As Hopealways brought up, your ex is presenting an outward mask.

My stbxh is doing much of the same ... .partying with a group of friends that do not know the real him.

[Pablo826]

So what can I expect that she is doing this on purpose to make me feeling bad and that she looks wonderful without me with her new group of friends,  this is the reason?  Expect also that this friendship will fair as soon as her traits begin to show up?

[enlighten me]

Everyone on social media looks good and has a wonderful life. No one ever posts bad photos of themselves or tells people the negative things going on in their life.

She my be doing it for you. Just to let you see what your missing.

She may just be doing it for herself to make her feel good about herself.

It is frustrating and hurts but only if you haven't detached from them. If you are no longer interested in them then it just seems funny and odd.

I would avoid looking or if you do then take it with a pinch of salt and remind yourself its not known as fakebook for nothing.

[Pablo826]

Yes it's very confusing because I am detaching from her it makes my mind spin a little bit. But when we were toghether she never posted almost nothing because I was always against social media and all this stuff,  I respect my private life but she seems to but nów way different even I know what is inside her brain... .

[Botonok]

My was always happy, kind, charming and most extrovert and attention seeking person I know in bigger company.

When we were alone she was the saddest little pack of tears.

I thought it was because of me, these sittuations often happened. Like she was crying her ass, wanting to go home, physically ill, but everytime she interact with other people she immidiatly change.

So what was mask. Public or private face to attach me so I will care. SHe often metioned nobedy likes her and that she dont want to go somewhere because she has nothing to do there, but I was shadow when we arrived.