She is threating to go to the lawyers now ..

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Hello All, need some advise. This is what I was afraid of Lawyers. We all know how that goes. I don't have the time or money to deal with them.

The uBPDex and I broke up 2 1/2 months ago. We were together on and off for 3 years and got back together. She initiated contact and told me how she missed me and she thought how I had lied that I loved her. I was still hurting from the breakup when she contacted me. This was September of 2014. We started hanging out again. Everything was ok for 5 months and we decided to move in together January of this year. Everything seemed ok for a few months. Then all the issues started again. Rages, shouting, she drank excessively. I lost it one night and said some words now I regret. I had had it.

While we were together we bought some furniture. She some cash for some furniture and some other stuff we did. We agreed I was going to pay her. She was making more money at work than me at the time. So we broke up on September this year again. I know my complete fault. I know I know for getting back together. I love this girl so much. but love has got me in trouble this time.  Now, that she is gone she wants all the money back in one payment. I told her I was going to give her monthly payments since I can't afford all of it in one payment.

We signed a lease together. She left and I agreed to stay and pay the monthly rent. I had no choice and I am sick of moving. In the last 3 years I think I have moved 4 times. She has kicked me out of her place 2 or 3 times (Her Previous place).  I did not know this but she asked our landlord to remove her from the lease. I did not know that she had done this. 

So now, she is taking me to the lawyers because I did not give her any cash for November. I had to fix my truck and could not give her any cash. I am really stretched with my cash as it is. So yeah, I could not. I explained this to her. But her response was " That is not my concern" . After, I had done so much for this girl. I fixed her car which were expensive repairs and was or tried to be there when she needed me. I so bummed out. It's Christmas I don't need this. No one needs this.

Any suggestions would help?

Thanks

Notsurewhattothink

[JRT]

It might depend on your state, but I think that she is liable for the lease for its duration. You simply cannot remove yourself from an agreement unless all parties agree. If that works in your favor, she might owe you money... .check with an attorney.

It is common for a pwBPD to threaten legal action. This board is full of stories of this nature as it relates to PPO's, children, property etc. Its a manner for control and punishment. Its helpful to step back and frame it all into context: will a rational attorney knowing that she has not honored her financial obligation to a lease take on a case? Does the value of the furniture (pennies on the dollar) outweigh the cost of involving a lawyer? Even if it did, getting a nasty letter from a law firm or being sued is far from a legal defeat for you. SHE has to prove her case, not you.

If it were me, I would not pay her a penny for ANYTHING. Matter of fact, I would demand for her to pay you for the rent for which she is in the rears on.

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

It might depend on your state, but I think that she is liable for the lease for its duration. You simply cannot remove yourself from an agreement unless all parties agree. If that works in your favor, she might owe you money... .check with an attorney.

It is common for a pwBPD to threaten legal action. This board is full of stories of this nature as it relates to PPO's, children, property etc. Its a manner for control and punishment. Its helpful to step back and frame it all into context: will a rational attorney knowing that she has not honored her financial obligation to a lease take on a case? Does the value of the furniture (pennies on the dollar) outweigh the cost of involving a lawyer? Even if it did, getting a nasty letter from a law firm or being sued is far from a legal defeat for you. SHE has to prove her case, not you.

If it were me, I would not pay her a penny for ANYTHING. Matter of fact, I would demand for her to pay you for the rent for which she is in the rears on.

JRT,

Thanks for the response. See I agreed to stay. She told our landlord to remove her from the lease. I did not know this. The way I see it is that since I agreed to stay I was agreeing for her to be removed off the lease. So looks like I am hooped in that regard.  I am not sure if I want to involve lawyers but at the same time I don't know. I asked her to take the furniture since still brand new basically. She want the cash only. its only $2400 we are talking about .I far to stretched on my bills so I could not get a loan. I agree with you it's a way of punishment. It's unbelievable what these people do. I have left at "Let me see what I can do" dealing with the legal system is a pain in the a*s.  She is not on the lease anymore so I don't have a leg to stand on that. The furniture value is about $1200.

I am starting to see what this "innocent" looking beautiful girl is capable of. I am pretty sure this is not her first rodeo. Unreal.

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

It might depend on your state, but I think that she is liable for the lease for its duration. You simply cannot remove yourself from an agreement unless all parties agree. If that works in your favor, she might owe you money... .check with an attorney.

It is common for a pwBPD to threaten legal action. This board is full of stories of this nature as it relates to PPO's, children, property etc. Its a manner for control and punishment. Its helpful to step back and frame it all into context: will a rational attorney knowing that she has not honored her financial obligation to a lease take on a case? Does the value of the furniture (pennies on the dollar) outweigh the cost of involving a lawyer? Even if it did, getting a nasty letter from a law firm or being sued is far from a legal defeat for you. SHE has to prove her case, not you.

If it were me, I would not pay her a penny for ANYTHING. Matter of fact, I would demand for her to pay you for the rent for which she is in the rears on.

JRT,

Thanks for the response. See I agreed to stay. She told our landlord to remove her from the lease. I did not know this. The way she sees it is that since I agreed to stay I was agreeing for her to be removed off the lease. So looks like I am hooped in that regard.  I am not sure if I want to involve lawyers but at the same time I don't know. I asked her to take the furniture since still brand new basically. She want the cash only. its only $2400 we are talking about .I far to stretched on my bills so I could not get a loan. I agree with you it's a way of punishment. It's unbelievable what these people do. I have left at "Let me see what I can do" dealing with the legal system is a pain in the a*s.  She is not on the lease anymore so I don't have a leg to stand on that. The furniture value is about $1200.

I am starting to see what this "innocent" looking beautiful girl is capable of. I am pretty sure this is not her first rodeo. Unreal.

JRT,

Thanks for the response. See I agreed to stay. She told our landlord to remove her from the lease. I did not know this. The way I see it is that since I agreed to stay I was agreeing for her to be removed off the lease. So looks like I am hooped in that regard.  I am not sure if I want to involve lawyers but at the same time I don't know. I asked her to take the furniture since still brand new basically. She want the cash only. its only $2400 we are talking about .I far to stretched on my bills so I could not get a loan. I agree with you it's a way of punishment. It's unbelievable what these people do. I have left at "Let me see what I can do" dealing with the legal system is a pain in the a*s.  She is not on the lease anymore so I don't have a leg to stand on that. The furniture value is about $1200.

I am starting to see what this "innocent" looking beautiful girl is capable of. I am pretty sure this is not her first rodeo. Unreal.

[JRT]

There might be some legal nuances here:

-it might not be that easy to remove oneself form a lease in your state. It may be the case that there is a process (if at all) and it must be in writing.

-did you pay for the furniture or did she? lets say you paid for it. She a lawyer might challenge that she is only responsible for the market value of it; pennies on the dollar.

Yeah: I have a legal battle going on with my 'innocent' girl as well. Sorry that you are going through this.

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

There might be some legal nuances here:

-it might not be that easy to remove oneself form a lease in your state. It may be the case that there is a process (if at all) and it must be in writing.

-did you pay for the furniture or did she? lets say you paid for it. She a lawyer might challenge that she is only responsible for the market value of it; pennies on the dollar.

Yeah: I have a legal battle going on with my 'innocent' girl as well. Sorry that you are going through this.

I live in Canada. We paid half each for the furniture. I just talked to the landlord and she removed her without consulting me  . So basically the landlord screwed me. I wont argue with the landlord or I will be leaving on the streets. Looks like I am screwed and she is free to roam. To be honest I'll pay her and ask her to leave me the hell alone. I don't need this drama and these type of women in my life. Lesson learned. Don't trust anyone.

Good Luck to you as well. 

[thisworld]

Hi,

I agree with JRT. It seems highly improbable that someone can be removed from a lease without consent of all parties.  Still, it may depend on the contract you have signed. Was a there a Main tenant, a Sub? What were the responsibilities? Do you have that contract with your signature on? That's what counts. Removing someone from an old contract and holding you responsible for the entire rent requires another contract - unless the first contract states your responsibility in this regard. Your landlord does not have the right to act against the contract, either and as long as you are fulfilling your legal responsibilities, she cannot kick you out. That's why there are contracts. At worst, you will have a sour landlord who may not renew the contract. Also, if you were responsible from November onwards (I couldn't understand when your contract started or ended) why did the landlord accept money from your ex (this is what I understood)? If you owed money for November, why weren't you sent a notice? Please stay strong, find your contract, contact the legal bar in your city - they should offer free services.

My honest opinion, she may have told lies to this landlord and the landlord may have offered help or whatever. But it's again the contract that decides.

About the furniture. Have you signed anything about buying furniture? 

[thisworld]

By the way, you say you have no money. So, it's very probable that actually you are at an ADVANTAGE! Generally, the broker the better. Other people you owe to, banks, contract owners etc have priority over her - debt is paid in order. No money for her until you pay your other debts. Nobody will put you in jail because of this and nobody can take your personal basic belongings away - tools that you conduct your job with etc. This is a small amount of money for a lawyer, nobody serious will go into a giant legal war because of this amount of money. She would probably get a cheap lawyer - if she ever does- and you will get a free one from the bar. Most probably they will agree, negotiate you will pay in installments that you can realistically afford. She will pout at her lawyer but will have to live with it. If not, you will go to court. You'll say you have no money - plus the contract thing appears kind of fishy. The landlord will be called in as well In the end, the judge will try to make all parties agree (the law is not BPD and they don't want you in jail, you would occupy space and are an expense to the state.) You will probably pay in small expenses or something. They cannot kill you or imprison you because you are broke. There is nothing like I want everything in one installment or I'm going to the lawyer. You have rights, too.

Stay strong, find the contract, contact the bar. (If you cannot access legal support, share the contract with us and we will help you). 

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Hi,

I agree with JRT. It seems highly improbable that someone can be removed from a lease without consent of all parties.  Still, it may depend on the contract you have signed. Was a there a Main tenant, a Sub? What were the responsibilities? Do you have that contract with your signature on? That's what counts. Removing someone from an old contract and holding you responsible for the entire rent requires another contract - unless the first contract states your responsibility in this regard. Your landlord does not have the right to act against the contract, either and as long as you are fulfilling your legal responsibilities, she cannot kick you out. That's why there are contracts. At worst, you will have a sour landlord who may not renew the contract. Also, if you were responsible from November onwards (I couldn't understand when your contract started or ended) why did the landlord accept money from your ex (this is what I understood)? If you owed money for November, why weren't you sent a notice? Please stay strong, find your contract, contact the legal bar in your city - they should offer free services.

My honest opinion, she may have told lies to this landlord and the landlord may have offered help or whatever. But it's again the contract that decides.


About the furniture. Have you signed anything about buying furniture?  

Hi thisworld,

I was refering that I did not pay my crazy ex for november. We had agreed I was gong to pay monthly payments.  I ended up having other expenses and could not pay her. she was not happy about that. So yea, I talked to a lawyer today and she told me that my ex is still fully responsible for the lease. She is still on the lease and she has to honor it. In order for her to be off the lease I have to sign another, physically sign it on my own. I am not completly broke since I pay my bills and I feed myself. In fact, the lawyer told me that I should make her pay for her half for the rest of the year until the lease expires. I wont do that since I want her out of my life.  hopefully that makes more sense. I am so mad right now. I wrote my Original post fast. The landlord sent me the contract again (the crazy one took the contract when she left) Thanks

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

By the way, you say you have no money. So, it's very probable that actually you are at an ADVANTAGE! Generally, the broker the better. Other people you owe to, banks, contract owners etc have priority over her - debt is paid in order. No money for her until you pay your other debts. Nobody will put you in jail because of this and nobody can take your personal basic belongings away - tools that you conduct your job with etc. This is a small amount of money for a lawyer, nobody serious will go into a giant legal war because of this amount of money. She would probably get a cheap lawyer - if she ever does- and you will get a free one from the bar. Most probably they will agree, negotiate you will pay in installments that you can realistically afford. She will pout at her lawyer but will have to live with it. If not, you will go to court. You'll say you have no money - plus the contract thing appears kind of fishy. The landlord will be called in as well In the end, the judge will try to make all parties agree (the law is not BPD and they don't want you in jail, you would occupy space and are an expense to the state.) You will probably pay in small expenses or something. They cannot kill you or imprison you because you are broke. There is nothing like I want everything in one installment or I'm going to the lawyer. You have rights, too.

Stay strong, find the contract, contact the bar. (If you cannot access legal support, share the contract with us and we will help you).  

This makes sense. I have never been involved in this kind of cr*p and to be honest it scares me a bit since women get the better deal usually with the legal system. and NO I am not being sexist. It is the truth. A small lie from her I am screwed. Something I dont need. Now, I truly know I am dealing with a psycho and I dont want to get worse than it is. I am not paying the DD money, I will get charged for the wear and tear of the property when I leave. She is trying to leave without any legal bindings to the place we lived in. I find that not moral and it is a matter of principal.

I have the money to pay her off now I borrowed it. she either accepts what I have or I am going to pay a lawyer with that money. She is not getting that DD from me. So I decided to go with that. I know is going to take time and money, but if we go this route, I am going to ask my lawyer to ask for her to pay half of the rent for the rest of they year until the lease is over. Any Suggestions? Ideas?  Thanks

[thisworld]

Hi again,

No, she doesn't get the better deal in cases like this. You are right, manipulative women are sometimes at an advantage in divorce cases or dividing assets etc if the judge needs to use discretion. There is no discretion in something simple like a tenant contract. This binds the judge, too. The judge has to make sure that the contract is applied, it's not the other way around. If the judge is crazy enough to use discretion, this goes to the superior court, the judge gets a minus point. Again, the contract is applied. Don't be afraid of it. This is control. Controllers frighten and confuse us with volatility, we get tired and start doing what they want. I wouldn't know about any other possible case including violence from you etc. Do you think there is something she could reasonably take you to court with? (Any hospital records of violence etc when you two were together?) Anything tangible?

If you think she is a psychopath, do you think doing what she wants would satisfy her or would result in asking more. If you give them something they have no right for just to get rid of them, they don't see it the way you do. They see it as a sign of weakness, and come back for more. IMHO.

I'm sorry if the word broke offended you. I'm not a native speaker and used it only to mean you don't have free money to distribute whenever she wants. Even at the court.

And sorry if I'm testing your patience here, but why are you still thinking of paying her? In your contract, are you not responsible for paying to the landlord? If she has given you some money at home for instance and if you transferred it to your landlord you don't owe money to the landlord. You owe your money to your ex (depending on how you see this) but at the court, this is still something that needs to be proven. Did she pay for both of you from her account? In my country, anything written (e-mails etc) may be or not be deemed proof depending on some technicalities. I don't know about your particular case but ask your lawyer/free bar lawyer whomever about this aspect before you give her a penny.

If you decide to pay, please do this through a lawyer.

Also, I think the right attitude would be to get a bit assertive. Calm but assertive. If she tries to speak to you nowadays, you can say your lawyer will contact her soon and don't take it any further. I know we are all very tired and just want to get rid of them. They go when there is nothing they get from us, emotionally or otherwise. Anything emotional -even if negative- is attention. She doesn't go. Same for the positive.

As for the landlord, I think it was an assertive move to ask for the contract. Your landlord knows very well what they have done. When you get it, you may drop something like "Oh, thank you very much, my lawyer cousin thinks I'm silly for losing this." If this person is a bit more aggressive (in your opinion), you can describe us your relationship and what you want to achieve and we can think about it.

These are my two cents.

Stay strong,

[Aussie0zborn]

I see you're stressed but I feel you might be fretting over very little. There's is nothing wrong with someone seeking legal advice and for $2400 it's not actually worth her hirig a lawyer. There's no such thing as someone "taking you to the lawyers" so nothing to be afraid of.

Why don't you advise her in writing that the furniture will be out on the street at 5.00pm and if she doesn't have it collected you will not be held responsible for it. Take a photo of the furniture on the street and then at 6.00pm you take it back inside.

One thing I've learned through my experience with a BPD person is to always keep your money in your pocket. Don't give her any money. She doesn't want the furniture? Well... .neither do you. ;-)

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Hi again,

No, she doesn't get the better deal in cases like this. You are right, manipulative women are sometimes at an advantage in divorce cases or dividing assets etc if the judge needs to use discretion. There is no discretion in something simple like a tenant contract. This binds the judge, too. The judge has to make sure that the contract is applied, it's not the other way around. If the judge is crazy enough to use discretion, this goes to the superior court, the judge gets a minus point. Again, the contract is applied. Don't be afraid of it. This is control. Controllers frighten and confuse us with volatility, we get tired and start doing what they want. I wouldn't know about any other possible case including violence from you etc. Do you think there is something she could reasonably take you to court with? (Any hospital records of violence etc when you two were together?) Anything tangible?

If you think she is a psychopath, do you think doing what she wants would satisfy her or would result in asking more. If you give them something they have no right for just to get rid of them, they don't see it the way you do. They see it as a sign of weakness, and come back for more. IMHO.

I'm sorry if the word broke offended you. I'm not a native speaker and used it only to mean you don't have free money to distribute whenever she wants. Even at the court.

And sorry if I'm testing your patience here, but why are you still thinking of paying her? In your contract, are you not responsible for paying to the landlord? If she has given you some money at home for instance and if you transferred it to your landlord you don't owe money to the landlord. You owe your money to your ex (depending on how you see this) but at the court, this is still something that needs to be proven. Did she pay for both of you from her account? In my country, anything written (e-mails etc) may be or not be deemed proof depending on some technicalities. I don't know about your particular case but ask your lawyer/free bar lawyer whomever about this aspect before you give her a penny.

If you decide to pay, please do this through a lawyer.

Also, I think the right attitude would be to get a bit assertive. Calm but assertive. If she tries to speak to you nowadays, you can say your lawyer will contact her soon and don't take it any further. I know we are all very tired and just want to get rid of them. They go when there is nothing they get from us, emotionally or otherwise. Anything emotional -even if negative- is attention. She doesn't go. Same for the positive.

As for the landlord, I think it was an assertive move to ask for the contract. Your landlord knows very well what they have done. When you get it, you may drop something like "Oh, thank you very much, my lawyer cousin thinks I'm silly for losing this." If this person is a bit more aggressive (in your opinion), you can describe us your relationship and what you want to achieve and we can think about it.

These are my two cents.

Stay strong,

Hi thisworld,

I have insulted her in anger and she claims she has records of that, but I would never hit a woman, She has hit me numerous times and I just extended my arm to keep her at arm's length. I know martial arts and I am not taking the risk that's for sure. I have witnesses on that (well her friend), that does not guarantee me anything. My ex's friend could lie for her.

I don't know really. I think I am going to pay her money so she gets out of my life. I really think she would go to the lawyers and make a big mess out of this. As I mentioned before, this is not her first rodeo. I am pretty sure she's done this before and has dealt with court stuff.

Do not worry about insulting me I understand. English is my second language as well.

she used half of her money for our furniture. I owe her that without a doubt. I told her I was going to pay her and I am. What it is bothering me is that she is gone and she expects me to pay the DD. The point I am trying to make to her is that she left she does not deserve that money back. Inf fact, if i wanted to be vindictive I would make her pay for the rest of the year that is left in the lease/contract.

She is just a very immature and does not realize that she is swimming upstream with the lease. Is plain and simple we both signed and we both are still attached to it. She keeps threating me that she will go to the lawyers if I don't give her that money. I know I have a case here on my favor. However, I don't have the time and money to deal with lawyers and Truly she is the last person I want to see again.

Sorry for the late response I just saw this post.

Thank you.

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

I see you're stressed but I feel you might be fretting over very little. There's is nothing wrong with someone seeking legal advice and for $2400 it's not actually worth her hirig a lawyer. There's no such thing as someone "taking you to the lawyers" so nothing to be afraid of.

Why don't you advise her in writing that the furniture will be out on the street at 5.00pm and if she doesn't have it collected you will not be held responsible for it. Take a photo of the furniture on the street and then at 6.00pm you take it back inside.

One thing I've learned through my experience with a BPD person is to always keep your money in your pocket. Don't give her any money. She doesn't want the furniture? Well... .neither do you. ;-)

Hi Aussie,

Hehe. I actually want the furniture I need it . She is jut trying to "Punish" me by being so hard to deal with. I think she is mad at me because I broke up with her. I had enough. She knows that we are done and she is trying to make it difficult to get a laugh. I know her. At the same time she is not mentally stable she could do a lot of stupid things. 

[JRT]

Its arguable as to whether or not you have any REAL legal obligation to return her furniture or pay her for it. Notwithstanding; if you were to tell her to come collect it, then sell it, she would get pennies on the dollar if she could not use it. I might go to her with that offer ESPECIALLY if she does not honor her end of the .ease.

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Its arguable as to whether or not you have any REAL legal obligation to return her furniture or pay her for it. Notwithstanding; if you were to tell her to come collect it, then sell it, she would get pennies on the dollar if she could not use it. I might go to her with that offer ESPECIALLY if she does not honor her end of the .ease.

I agree with you completely. I know I should not return her DD money. I just really want her out of my life. I've had to many bad experiences and headaches with this girl. I need it to stop now and move on with my life. I am pretty sure she wants to go to court and continue this misery. She is used to this turmoil. I am not. I still can't believe I lasted so long with her.

[thisworld]

Hi

You sound a bit over-worried about what she may do to you at court. Please do not let that fear determine your actions. (It may result in unwanted consequences).  Just for the record, I'm yet to see a debt case where insult mattered. Insult on its own doesn't mean much in a court unless you've done it publicly - but maybe different in your country. I personally wouldn't worry about that. And generally, physical violence requires some proof but maybe different in your country. The reason why I'm telling these is that you seem to be a bit over worried about these legal threats. Lawyers also choose clients and in compensation cases (insult would be that) they usually take a percentage. Imagine she entered a lawyer's office, "My ex slapped me I want a court case." The lawyer would ask questions before accepting this case which may turn kind of funny at the court - the lawyer would know this and wouldn't want to be a laughing stock in those corridors for what, 5 dollars that will be his share - unless you dated Nicole Kidman of course. Also, there is no evidence. I wouldn't worry about this.

This is what I would worry about:

If you give in after this threat and if you believe your ex is a vengeful Cluster B (not all of them are), this may be hanging on your head like Damocles's sword for a long time. Vengeful Cluster B doesn't think oh, there is nothing else to ask for, goodbye to me. They usually think "Ha ha, I got what I wanted, let me ask for more." How do you know she will never take you to the court for violence, slapping etc with a fake witness anyway? What matters is not being taken to the court, it's the validity of the case.

So, you'll be giving her money for the furniture and also closing her legal debt (the rest of the lease)? Please be careful this may be read as a weakness.


If you want to close the accounts books for good, how does this sound to you as an alternative?

You calculate how much she owes to the landlord for the rest of the lease. Take that out of this furniture money. And you'll see who owes who. Then if you still owe her money, pay that. All with proper legal liaision please, and a legal note that states nobody owes nobody anything. It's also psychologically good. She sees you are not scared of law.

If she owes you, maybe you wouldn't want to take it. Good. The moment she mentions a lawyer, a court case etc, you can bring that up maybe.

I know this is difficult. It's hard to predict what will happen with some people. My ex is similar, but a bit more impulsive and volatile. I cannot predict his actions, there was nothing in his past behaviour showing that the guy was capable of what he is doing today. So, I try to do things properly instead of predicting what he will or will not do. he has surprised me on that front already.   

Good luck

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Hi

You sound a bit over-worried about what she may do to you at court. Please do not let that fear determine your actions. (It may result in unwanted consequences).  Just for the record, I'm yet to see a debt case where insult mattered. Insult on its own doesn't mean much in a court unless you've done it publicly - but maybe different in your country. I personally wouldn't worry about that. And generally, physical violence requires some proof but maybe different in your country. The reason why I'm telling these is that you seem to be a bit over worried about these legal threats. Lawyers also choose clients and in compensation cases (insult would be that) they usually take a percentage. Imagine she entered a lawyer's office, "My ex slapped me I want a court case." The lawyer would ask questions before accepting this case which may turn kind of funny at the court - the lawyer would know this and wouldn't want to be a laughing stock in those corridors for what, 5 dollars that will be his share - unless you dated Nicole Kidman of course. Also, there is no evidence. I wouldn't worry about this.

This is what I would worry about:

If you give in after this threat and if you believe your ex is a vengeful Cluster B (not all of them are), this may be hanging on your head like Damocles's sword for a long time. Vengeful Cluster B doesn't think oh, there is nothing else to ask for, goodbye to me. They usually think "Ha ha, I got what I wanted, let me ask for more." How do you know she will never take you to the court for violence, slapping etc with a fake witness anyway? What matters is not being taken to the court, it's the validity of the case.

So, you'll be giving her money for the furniture and also closing her legal debt (the rest of the lease)? Please be careful this may be read as a weakness.


If you want to close the accounts books for good, how does this sound to you as an alternative?

You calculate how much she owes to the landlord for the rest of the lease. Take that out of this furniture money. And you'll see who owes who. Then if you still owe her money, pay that. All with proper legal liaision please, and a legal note that states nobody owes nobody anything. It's also psychologically good. She sees you are not scared of law.

If she owes you, maybe you wouldn't want to take it. Good. The moment she mentions a lawyer, a court case etc, you can bring that up maybe.

I know this is difficult. It's hard to predict what will happen with some people. My ex is similar, but a bit more impulsive and volatile. I cannot predict his actions, there was nothing in his past behaviour showing that the guy was capable of what he is doing today. So, I try to do things properly instead of predicting what he will or will not do. he has surprised me on that front already.    

Good luck

See, we signed a 1 year lease. We moved in, bought new furniture, we had a big argument and she left 2 months later. We put half each for the DD. She has zero communication skills. I am not saying I am a great communicator but at least I want/try to discuss any issues before I make any decisions. I so would take her to court so she pays for the rest of the year. but I am trying to avoid all of that. Perhaps, I am worrying to much. I worry a lot about things that's for sure. She is gone and I am paying all the bills and rent.  If she keeps pushing me I may just let her take me to court. I will use the money I owe her and put it toward lawyer fees.

As I say, I have a good case when it comes to our lease agreement. She thinks that because the landlord told her that she was going to remove her from the lease, she thinks she is free to leave without any legal obligations.

I am trying to keep this whole situation low. But she is the one that keeps bringing this court BS. I told her that I will pay her but she wants it RIGHT NOW. I had to get a loan to pay her off. I don't get the money until Friday this week. I told her that. If she keeps pushing i may change my mind and go after her for the DD and rent for the rest of the year. We'll see what happens in the next 3 days.

[thisworld]

I understand what you are saying. Nobody wants to go to court. But she isn't going to court anyway . At worst, she is going to the lawyers. And so are you. (though it would be great to see her represent herself in the court and deal with the Judge:))Lawyers will try to get you two to negotiate. And it's completely solvable by simply calculating who owes what to who. And that's very easy, too. It's just a lease and furniture. Unless she wants to calculate how many cartons of milk she bought etc. Lawyers will not want to go to court. because this is a miniscule case. The judge would raise their eyebrows and look at these lawyers and say "What? Is this what you couldn't solve among yourselves?" Lawyers don't want to spend valuable court time with this stuff. They want to solve these in their offices so they can appear in more important cases and make some money. Please please don't worry about the court for this. I'm sorry for posting about this all the time. I just don't want you to worry about the court. Really, it's unfair to you and your morale.

Aikido Take the attack and defend to the point of turning it into a strength for yourself. To me, that says doing everything with a lawyer from now on. An inexpensive lawyer would do. This isn't something very big.

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

I understand what you are saying. Nobody wants to go to court. But she isn't going to court anyway . At worst, she is going to the lawyers. And so are you. (though it would be great to see her represent herself in the court and deal with the Judge:))Lawyers will try to get you two to negotiate. And it's completely solvable by simply calculating who owes what to who. And that's very easy, too. It's just a lease and furniture. Unless she wants to calculate how many cartons of milk she bought etc. Lawyers will not want to go to court. because this is a miniscule case. The judge would raise their eyebrows and look at these lawyers and say "What? Is this what you couldn't solve among yourselves?" Lawyers don't want to spend valuable court time with this stuff. They want to solve these in their offices so they can appear in more important cases and make some money. Please please don't worry about the court for this. I'm sorry for posting about this all the time. I just don't want you to worry about the court. Really, it's unfair to you and your morale.

Aikido Take the attack and defend to the point of turning it into a strength for yourself. To me, that says doing everything with a lawyer from now on. An inexpensive lawyer would do. This isn't something very big.

Hah! I love your thinking. I haven't trained in Aikido but I trained something similar. use the opponents strength and body movements against him/her . I like your thinking and thank you for the legal advise. Gives me peace of mind.  Sounds you know what you are talking about this court/law stuff. I will see what she does and I'll go from there. Take Care Thisworld.

[thisworld]

You're welcome. You take care, too.

And (aaand:)) even if it goes to court or the lawyer, they'll probably give you some time (1 week, 15 days) to pay your debt before the trial starts anyway. It's worth checking for Canada