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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Something a little positive  (Read 503 times)
cloudten
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 615



« on: December 15, 2015, 01:44:43 PM »

So I saw this on someone's instagram... .I don't really know who to give the credit to- but I LOVE IT... .

"Whenever being single gets me down, I like to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and then go do whatever I want pretty much nonstop."

I love it.

That is what you should be doing. Whatever you want nonstop. That is what recovery is about.

If you love yourself, truly and deeply, what would you do?
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thisworld
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 763


« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2015, 02:23:05 PM »

Yes and yes and yes. I actually love being single - I like being the part of a couple, too but have experienced how horrible marital loneliness can be - or in any relationship actually. And I say, any relationship has to be better than my single life. (And then look at what've done. I got myself a BPD with narc traits, my T refers to psychopaths when I ask a question and I'm about to do a gray rock till I achieve some safety. ) Of course being single is better:))

At least, I can sleep as much as I want and use my time the way I want Smiling (click to insert in post))
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cloudten
*****
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 615



« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2015, 02:33:48 PM »

Precisely!

And the moments I have allowed that crazy back into my life... .I have regretted 10 fold!

We are in complete control of what we allow in our world.

Like my saying at the bottom says... .seek peace and pursue it.

In my experience, being with a pwBPD is the antithesis of peace... .the antithesis of comfort... .the antithesis of rationality.

Seek peace... .pursue it... .that means to follow closely so as to catch it... .

You should be doing exactly what you want to do... .at every moment.
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thisworld
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 763


« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2015, 03:17:27 PM »

So true.

I'll miss someone zipping up my dress but I've got spaghetti arms and that will do for the time being. I'd rather walk around unzipped than having to go gray rock again. Hell. What a life.





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