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BPDFamily.com
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Introduction: It's been 3 years
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Topic: Introduction: It's been 3 years (Read 870 times)
kentavr3
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 119
Re: Introduction: It's been 3 years
«
Reply #30 on:
February 04, 2016, 10:52:02 AM »
Guys,
I have a question. Are those scenarios of your written in one place by one author?
Looks like my story is almost the same!
I don’t want even to repeat mine.
The same start and the same ending + 9 years old daughter.
Same feelings after sudden break. Same!
We have to understand that we lived in HELL! Go to support group at least. My memory returns me back to the good time. I can’t resist with it. But, it doesn’t mean BP feels the same way.
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bAlex
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 215
Re: Introduction: It's been 3 years
«
Reply #31 on:
February 04, 2016, 11:50:39 AM »
Quote from: kentavr3 on February 04, 2016, 10:52:02 AM
Guys,
I have a question. Are those scenarios of your written in one place by one author?
Looks like my story is almost the same!
I don’t want even to repeat mine.
The same start and the same ending + 9 years old daughter.
Same feelings after sudden break. Same!
We have to understand that we lived in HELL! Go to support group at least. My memory returns me back to the good time. I can’t resist with it. But, it doesn’t mean BP feels the same way.
Yep, the outcome is pretty much the same every time. It's quite predictable really. And good ppl end up paying for someone else's mental issues... it's ridiculous.
The good news is that this is all temporary
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FURDA
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 4
Re: Introduction: It's been 3 years
«
Reply #32 on:
February 04, 2016, 12:05:21 PM »
"I was one of the few friends she had left... "
My dear, you are not her friend. She is not your friend. Friends do not hurt each other. In her contingency plan you are only the last resort where she recollects some strength just to move forward to fantastic, exciting and fabulous new drama. You are not in a cast list. Are you willing to be her janitor to experience the heights again? Don't you think that this roller-coaster game is pretty much expensive? Because you are paying with your life.
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bAlex
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 215
Re: Introduction: It's been 3 years
«
Reply #33 on:
February 04, 2016, 12:25:24 PM »
Quote from: FURDA on February 04, 2016, 12:05:21 PM
"I was one of the few friends she had left... "
My dear, you are not her friend. She is not your friend. Friends do not hurt each other. In her contingency plan you are only the last resort where she recollects some strength just to move forward to fantastic, exciting and fabulous new drama. You are not in a cast list. Are you willing to be her janitor to experience the heights again? Don't you think that this roller-coaster game is pretty much expensive? Because you are paying with your life.
Couldn't have said it better myself
glad to be rid of her
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AsGoodAsItGets
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 173
Re: Introduction: It's been 3 years
«
Reply #34 on:
February 04, 2016, 07:17:22 PM »
Sometime we hope the nightmare will end and our BPDs will wake up and realize how amazing we are. Idk, currently I'm in a relationship with an amazing partner, who has done everything right, yet I'm not sure I love her. It pains me that I don't feel the deep love and everything that goes vwith that, because I know she's the best thing to everify happen to me, in time if my feelings don't mature to a more intimate deeper love I will have to make a choice to push her away. I write this to remind readers that being good for someone doesn't mean they should love you. It's not a checklist of great qualities and then your in love. If you or our BPDs don't feel it, nothing you do, no sacrifice is going to make to people fall in love. Just keep it in mind. I save my BPD life and she didnt love me. I'm dating miss perfect and the love is already fading on my part, even though I think I should be in love with this amazing person, I'm not.  :)on't wear yourself down thinking if I just do this, or sacrifice that it will grow or prove our love. Im just not so sure it works that way. It's not worth killing yourself for someone who probably never loved you in the first place.
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Penelope35
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 229
Re: Introduction: It's been 3 years
«
Reply #35 on:
February 05, 2016, 08:30:27 AM »
Quote from: AsGoodAsItGets on February 04, 2016, 07:17:22 PM
Sometime we hope the nightmare will end and our BPDs will wake up and realize how amazing we are. Idk, currently I'm in a relationship with an amazing partner, who has done everything right, yet I'm not sure I love her. It pains me that I don't feel the deep love and everything that goes vwith that, because I know she's the best thing to everify happen to me, in time if my feelings don't mature to a more intimate deeper love I will have to make a choice to push her away. I write this to remind readers that being good for someone doesn't mean they should love you. It's not a checklist of great qualities and then your in love. If you or our BPDs don't feel it, nothing you do, no sacrifice is going to make to people fall in love. Just keep it in mind. I save my BPD life and she didnt love me. I'm dating miss perfect and the love is already fading on my part, even though I think I should be in love with this amazing person, I'm not.  :)on't wear yourself down thinking if I just do this, or sacrifice that it will grow or prove our love. Im just not so sure it works that way. It's not worth killing yourself for someone who probably never loved you in the first place.
I actually believe that they did love us, just not in the "normal" and healthy way. In my opinion this is the only way they can love. Idealizations/devaluations, push/pull, manipulations, gaslightings, fear of abandonment, lies etc are all components of their love towards us. Another way of loving us was not possible
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