How do I move on after a relationship with BPD partner

[Elaine44]

Hi:  I don't really know where to begin... .I was in a relationship with a BPD partner for about 4 1/2 years... .I feel that even though he as moved on I am emotionally scared... .even after I moved out he continued to contact me... .he now as someone else in his life... but why do I feel like he is still betraying me... .At the beginning of the relationship it was to good to be true ... .he treated me like a princess... .about six months in  he started cheating on me many times... .he was always insulting me... .I felt like I wasn't allow to think for myself... .the only friends I could have were his friends... .I felt like I always had to explain everything I did... .I felt like the man I fell in love with became a monster... .why am I feeling betrayed... .and how do I move on... .

[Bigmd]

Elaine, welcome. What I will tell you and what everyone else wiill tell you is TIME. It just takes time and no contact. How long ago did you break up?

[Elaine44]

Hi  It have been about a 1 1/2 years... .but, really never lost contact I moved out and got an apartment but he continued to drop by and phone and text but he continued to watch my every move... .he knew where I was too at all times... .I wasn't the one cheating when we lived together and to this day have not been with anyone else... .however about month and a half ago he start seeing someone from the place that we both work... .I know it would have never worked out because he made me feel like I was on a rollercoaster ride... .we both saw a counselor ... .he told me in a private session that he had known my partner for years and that he would never change and that he suffered from BPD

[Bigmd]

Elaine from what I have read it takes years for a Bpd to change, and that's if your lucky enough for them to stick with it. When I was dating exgf I had no idea about BPD. I tried to get her to go to therapy with me because I knew there was something going on, mainly the silent treatment I was subjected to. When it came time to make appt she flat out refuse to go and she told me she didn't have a problem. It wasn't until weeks after breakup did I find out about BPD. She had almost all the traits. I did a lot of reading including 3 books. I realized she is only one that can do the work. I'm 6 months out and still recovering. It's really very sad how all this works.