Failure to Understand Sarcasm

[MoreGuilt]

My mom displays many, if not all, of the criteria for BPD.  One thing that I did not come across in my reading was her complete lack of understanding sarcasm.  She is 76 years old and still does not catch sarcasm.  At all.  My brother is extraordinarily sarcastic, still lives at home with her,  and when she says something crazy, he will sarcastically agree with her.  Then she acts on his advice and he thinks it's the funniest thing ever.  He's the GC, too, so if he tells her something, it is gospel.  I remember telling her stories about work or school when I was living at home- repeating the sarcastic comments or interjecting my own and she was so confused.  I'd tell her they or I was being sarcastic and she'd just look at me blankly.  I was just wondering if this is common to BPD?

[Pilpel]

Yes, I've noticed that my uBPD SIL lacks an understanding of sarcasm.  My first impression of her was that she took everything so hyper-literally.  If I told her, "you can't do that" in the friendly excited way that I would talk to my friends, she would take it as me trying to control her and tell her what to do.  To me it seems obvious that I wouldn't really have a stake at all in what choice she makes.  Speaking of what she does ---I consider it a part of her personality disorder that she has a hard time problem solving and making choices in certain situations.  And she has trouble making choices that take into consideration what fits the needs of everyone else involved.


My parents also didn't really understand sarcasm.  And they never understood common idioms, and never paid attention to what was going on pop culture.  So she sort of fits right in, in a way.  My parents, as well as my SIL, are foreign and very religious.  So it can easily be thought to be the result of English being a second language and their being older or the religiousness.  But with my parents, as I grew up, I gradually met other foreign-born people their age, and noticed that English as a second language or age didn't prevent other people from "getting things." 

[HappyChappy]

, and noticed that English as a second language or age didn't prevent other people from "getting things."  

Noticed the same.

MoreGuilt, what a fascinating observation. My BPD also doesn’t understand sarcasm, I always though it was because she wasn’t British. But Russell Brand is considered to have a Personality Disorder (probably BPD), the only stand up comedian I know that would struggle do deny this assumption. He does sarcasm, here’s an example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Woye0XG14cU

What also interested me is that people with NPA don’t like criticism or jokes at their expense normally, but Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen both put themselves up for the American Comedy Roast, and took it on the chin. I guess their need for attention can conquer all ?

[GeekyGirl]

I think this is more about the individual than the PD. My BPDm not only understands sarcasm, but is quite sarcastic herself. She's actually quite effective at using sarcasm to lash out at others, rather than to try to be funny.

[Finding Courage]

My mom doesn't understand sacarasm either.  And has many other limitations in social communication.  If she didn't have all the BPD characteristics, I would almost think she had mild autism.

[MoreGuilt]

Thanks for the replies.  Lack of understanding sarcasm may just be an individual trait for her.  She is not foreign, but is religious, so that may be part of it.  The only criteria I haven't witnessed in the BPD diagnostic criteria is recurrent suicidal behavior.  She always says she wants to die, but due to her religion I don't think she would ever admit to wanting to kill herself. I feel bad for her not understanding sarcasm  because I think my brother is taking advantage of this and uses it simply to amuse himself at her expense.  I know logically that since he is the GC and I am the SG that nothing I can say or do will matter anyway.  Trying to convince my heart of that is another thing. Thanks again for the input   

[daughterandmom]

My mother also does not get sarcasm. And if you point out to her that you were kidding, she considers it a deliberate attempt to hurt her by making fun of her.

[HappyChappy]

Out of interest, can anyone think of a comedy generator ( a writer or stand up that writes) who has a Personality Disorder ? I know plenty of comic personas that send up PD (Alan Partridge, Handcock etc... .) I also know comedic actors (Peter Sellers) but I can only think of one comedy generator (Russell Brand) any other suggestions ?