Important things to do in these relationships are simple to know, hard to do

[1minuteatatime]

When I read all of the posts, it feels very much like the important things to do in these relationships are simple to know, hard to do:

1.  Keep emotional distance somewhat to keep yourself regulated emotionally.

2.  Care for yourself in every way.  Sleep, eat and exercise right.  Maintain and strengthen friendships.  Keep family close and don't be afraid to talk to family about what is going on.  It's not about making the SO look bad or you to look good.(I look just as bad/good at times)  It's about getting perspective and figuring the best path forward since that is all you can do.

3.  Keep drama to an absolute minimum.  Not conflict.  Conflict happens in any relationship.  It often is not a bad thing.  But... . If the conflict escalates, there are two people to blame for allowing it to escalate.  That is what I did with her twice.  I escalated/allowed escalation where all of the other times, I listened and stayed calm.

4.  Never be afraid to walk from any relationship.  Or be afraid that they will walk out on you.  Most romantic relationships don't last.  Fearing the end is futile.  I have abandonment fears.  That is something I have to work on.

5.  Validation and radical acceptance to listen to everything.  Seek to understand, first.  I struggle the most, here.  

6.  You can only change yourself.  He/She must make the choice and put in the effort if they want to change anything about themselves.  I am good in this area.

7.  Let her go-Passenger.  Only know you love her when you let her go.  Letting someone go sometimes is the most loving thing that you can do.  

My ex was/is miserable most of the time.  Lonely, etc.  But.  I will let her go.  If she comes back and I'm available to date, I'll listen.  We all are searching for answers.  Sometimes, there are no answers.  Only more questions.  It takes me about 3 weeks to stop missing her.  Apparently, it takes her about 2 to start missing me again.  

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[JohnLove]

It takes me about 3 weeks to stop missing her.  Apparently, it takes her about 2 to start missing me again.  

This is pretty funny. I'm glad you're in a good place despite the difficulties.

Here's to your tips on self care. 

[1minuteatatime]

It takes me about 3 weeks to stop missing her.  Apparently, it takes her about 2 to start missing me again.  

This is pretty funny. I'm glad you're in a good place despite the difficulties.

I just tell it like it is.  In real life, people think I am funny as hell cause I just say what pops into my head most of the time.  I am in a much better place, now. I said what I needed to say.  I have a date tomorrow with a gorgeous woman and am talking to 4 or 5 others over text.  Most will be friends(with no benefits other than meeting their friends)  Life goes on.

Here's to your tips on self care.