Hello tellmethetruth,
I'm sorry that you are hurting right now. Hope is out there though, and you have enough strength to reach out for support, and that is a brave thing to do
A short story:
My mother rescued me from foster care when I was not quite two and a half. I had two parents who abandoned me. I found out that my mom suffered from depression when I was 18, having moved out of the house. I found out that she was BPD when she finally told me after I was 40. Though my childhood would make a pretty good novel, she was there for me as my mom; I had no other. Despite her struggles to this day, she's still my mom.
I think that there is hope, despite, not because.
This site is for people who have people with BPD in their lives, working to heal their relationships and themselves. As such, we don't have many resources to support you. However, you can find people with whom you can better connect here:
Resources for BPD SufferersI know that it may be very difficult to model the healthy type of love that you didn't have, but the fact that you desire to for your daughter is no small thing. Don't discount your inner strength It's there.
All the best,
Turkish