First post

[januarygirl]

I registered from my phone and will be back to post once I'm on my computer. In a nutshell, my BPD mom has attempted suicide twice this week.

[Leda]

I'm glad you registered, sissy.  I registered today too and hope we can continue to heal through this together.  It's been quite a week. 

[ijustwantpeace]

Is your mother ok?  Is she in the hospital receiving treatment.  I know you are both probably traumatized by this ordeal.  I know I would be.  Hoping the both of you are ok, and your mother is cared for.

Look out for each other and when your emotions calm down, a bit get together a plan of action of how you are going to cope.

Take care of your health, and be kind to yourselves.  Don't be hard on yourselves, stick together and you will both come out of this stronger.

[Leda]

ijustwantpeace, thank you for asking.  She is currently in the hospital receiving short term treatment.  It is very hard to look at the situation and say that being in the hospital makes her now ok.  She was in the hospital last week "receiving treatment" and they released her right away and her follow up attempt was a week later to the day. 

Right now she has nothing.  She gave up everything to move in with this guy states away.  No apartment, no assisted living benefits, no money, no family left that she hasn't alienated.  She has nothing to lose right now and is at a very low point and I fear that makes her very dangerous to herself, and probably to her ex-boyfriend too unfortunately.  Hard to watch from the sidelines but harder to be involved.  So here my sister and I sit and observe.  We're so thankful to have each other and that we are nothing like her.  We really broke the mold. 

[Kwamina]

Hi januarygirl

Welcome to bpdfamily. The circumstances that have brought you here are very sad though. I can imagine how hard this must be for you, how are you holding up?

It is a very difficult and painful reality of BPD that some people with this disorder have suicidal tendencies and sometimes end up making actual suicide attempts.

How is your mother doing now? Does she have a history of making suicide attempts?

I encourage you to post more when you have the time and are on a computer.

We are here for you  and also for you Leda

[januarygirl]

Thank you for finding this, D.  Yeah this week has been rough.  Right now my plan of action is just to be an observer at this point.  I think that's my sister's plan too.  Her therapist from the hospital mentioned there is a behavioral center in Indiana that specializes strictly in BPD, and they are using a newer therapy modality called Dialectic Behavior Therapy.  The trick is she has to be willing to go there on her own, and that's going to be the problem.  We have talked, my sister and I, and I think we both feel that she really is not interested in getting better.  Her BPD diagnosis overlaps with several others that she carries:  PTSD, anxiety, sleep disorder, eating disorder... the list goes on.  We are talking more that 50 years of hauling her trauma around, and it is what she uses to define herself.  It's like her trauma is her safe place, how sick is that?

[januarygirl]

I truly believe she did not think she was coming back from the attempt last Friday.  When EMS arrived, she had no pulse and no respirations.  The scene was elaborately set, suicide notes written, goodbye messages sent (not to us though) the box she mailed to my sister... She even called our 20 year old brother who is on the west coast serving in the Navy and asked his permission.  I don't think she had any intention of living through that one, truly.  She's had several attempts in the past, but this one was planned several days in advance, and I am so disgusted that the hospital called the attempt "impulsive."

[Kwamina]

Your mother came very close to not surviving this suicide attempt. I am glad she did survive, she clearly needs some long-term help though to deal with her issues. You mention her other diagnoses, has she ever gotten substantial help for those?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has been proven to be effective for certain people with BPD. For this to happen it is essential that the person fully acknowledges her/his issues and fully commits to working on those issues through therapy. You and your sister both think your mother isn't really interested in getting better. That really is very unfortunate. Do you feel that your mother at least does acknowledge that she has certain problems?

You plan on being just an observer at this point which would keep you from not getting too much involved. Yet still, I can imagine how hard this must be for you. This definitely has been a rough week for you.

Your mother called your brother, have you talked to him about what has happened? How is he dealing with all of this?

[Leda]

I'm spending time today going through all the forum guidelines and etiquette and learned that family members should not participate in each other's threads.  Glad I caught that early!  So I am posting quickly to say I'm now aware of that guideline, though I wasn't when I made my earlier post.  

[Kwamina]

I'm spending time today going through all the forum guidelines and etiquette and learned that family members should not participate in each other's threads.  Glad I caught that early!  So I am posting quickly to say I'm now aware of that guideline, though I wasn't when I made my earlier post.  

It is ok Leda, the two of you just joined here so are very new. You are dealing with a very difficult situation and I am glad that both of you are reaching out for support and advice here.

Good that you've gone through all the guidelines We will work with both of you separately in your own threads. Take care