If you knew then what you know now, what would you do if you were me

[nona]

has anyone experienced leaving an UBPD only to have their child just like them start acting out?

DD13 has lots of BPD behaviours

DD13 spends 50 % of time with UBPD father.

she is in parental alienation.

rejects, trashes me, the stories/lies

setting me up as having abused her.

self harming and blaming me.

UBPD dad alienates, counsellor jumps with dd13.

I try to provide stability, and love and reality every other week.  more and more I have less and less influence, she uses friends, friends parents , plays games between me and other parents and her father.

we are deep in the mountains, there are no resources.

dd13 and uBPD father seem united? will this last

how will it play out

has anyone experienced leaving an UBPD only to have their child just like them start acting out?

what would you do?

I feel like I AM HER ONLY SALVATION, YET SHE COULD BE MY DEMISE

HOW CAN THAT BE?

I feel like running just to save myself.

so there is someone left if and when she can ever accept my mothering.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[raytamtay3]

  (me raising my hand ).  Hi Nona.  Yup.  My ex and my DD16 have a lot of the same traits.  Thankfully in our situation DD and exh are so much a like that they don't get a long.  However after I first left my ex, DD and he were united against me.  She eventually figured it out though.  

I have full custody of DD after having 50/50 as ex couldn't handle her anymore.  

I can sympathize with you in that I feel like I finally escaped the depth of hell with my ex to now having to live with his carbon copy! Oh joy!

You are not alone.  

[nona]

i don't really know the truth of what happens with them. The perfect relationship I am told. Of course they both lie, lie, lie.

I did hear that ex's lawyer referred to dd being "off the rails".

I need to wrap my brain around this new info. so I can advocate for her in reality.

DD IS acting out, at risk, in both homes, with both parents, hidden from each other.

dd and uBPDx will continue to lie.

thats encouraging, raytamtay3 it changed for your dd.

hope she figures out she is being programmed

Thanks !